Special, My Ass

So this restaurant is running a special this month - kids eat free, Tuesday thru Saturday, between 4pm and 10pm. My pockets are tapped, so going out to eat was the last thing on my mind, but my son wanted to go, so he's like "I got you, Mom." Love that boy. Really mad he's got money like that to be "gettin me" when Im broke, but I digress.

Anyway, we go. We sit down and the waitress brings us our drinks. I confirm the special and she tells me yes, that is the special. Then she says, "Well.... actually, since there is only one adult, only one kid can eat for free, and they have to order off the kids menu." Ok the kids menu, I get, but seriously? I got TWO kids. Why only one of em get to eat free just cause I neglected to bring a friend? LOL Thats some hokey pokey bullshit right there, but again, I digress.

It literally takes forever (yes, literally LOL) for the food to come out and disaster sets in. I dont eat pork. Why is there sausage in my shit? How do I know its not turkey sausage? Simple - they dont have turkey sausage. She takes it back. Returns with another omelette in like 2 minutes. Now there's these big ass green peppers. Didnt order big ass green peppers. Did you give me somebody else's omelette? Probably, but fuck it. I can do peppers. Wish they werent the size of my purse, but whatever.

Baby's got pancakes, sitting there smearing the butter on em and cutting em into pieces. Ten minutes later, "Mommy, something's missing." We all look around the table - the bitch never brought her any syrup LOL. She sitting there, chewing, mouth all stuck together from some dry ass pancakes LOL. Now as many times as we have eaten at this place, EVERY time pancakes are ordered, the syrup comes out with the ketchup and the hot sauce, before the food even does. No syrup. On top of that, she done brought me a pitcher of lukewarm coffee, which, by the time it hits the cup, is cold.

Shorty got salmon with this sauce on it that he clearly wanted on the side AND she forgot my toast. The couple that came in a couple of minutes behind us ended up leaving because they had theater tickets and the chick was taking so long. She was just a mess. Then she brings our check and I see the extra side of bacon my baby got that she told us would be free. Ok so if you were unable to make it be free with her meal, why wouldnt you tell me that so I could decide if I wanted to pay for it or not? You just bring it, let her eat it and add it to the bill? AND I gotta pay for the green damn peppers that I didnt ask for because they are the fourth item in a three-item omelette? Word, bitch? Well somebody done told you wrong.

Now let me tell yall something about me: Im a GREAT tipper. The only time Im not is when my service is shitty, and even then I still leave SOMETHING. But I have been known to leave a bitch a note LOL. Ask my kids, they'll tell you. They still make jokes to this day about the broad in Applebees who I left a note for after her shitty ass service, and she is lucky thats all I did, because I could have had her ass fired for the shit she was doing. I was about to pull out my trusty notepad when I overheard her telling the couple behind me that this was her first day out there by herself. My son and I looked at each other, both trying to decide whether that made a difference. In the end, we threw her a break and tipped her anyway, without the note, but we got that damn bacon off the bill and them damn peppers too, AND we got a free cookie out of the deal. I probably should have itemized everything and brought it all to her attention so she could work on it, but I spend enough time at the office doing other people's jobs, so we took our cookie and dipped. Somebody will break it down for her though, and she better hope its someone with some concern for her feelings. I usually do the deed to prevent a future blow up by someone else, but dammit, even I need a day off....