Friday, December 9, 2016

Ghosting

There's so much talk about this lately, ghosting must be at an all-time high. And that's terrible, cause ghosting is some sucka shit and that means cowardice is becoming an epidemic. SMH





Now I know it's hard to believe - you're probably sitting there reading this like "Dig's been ghosted??? Amazing ass Dig???" LMAO! Yes, buttercup, even amazing ass Dig has been ghosted LOL. Most single people out here actively dating have been and I gotta tell you, at first, that shit fucked me up. Like.... we was good, WTF happened? Going back through the last time we talked or hung out, trying to see what I did or if we had an argument I ain't realize was an argument at the time.... just trying to figure the shit out. And women, we think up all kinds of potential explanations. Maybe he didn't pay his bill. Maybe he lost his phone. Did he get locked up? Did he get in a horrible car accident and is laid up in somebody's hospital?

[*staring into the camera*]

The first time or two, we'll think up just about anything to keep from accepting the fact that somebody just moved on. Why? It's not because we're so hung up on the person that we can't let it go. It's because simply disappearing on somebody who at least THINKS you really dig them is a fucked up thing to do, and we don't want to admit that this person we thought so highly of would be such a fucked up individual, so there HAS to be some explanation. Well, there is but.... you ain't gon like it LOL. That's why dudes ghost in the first place, in my opinion, to avoid the confrontation. If they hurt your feelings, or God forbid, make you CRY? Automatic bad guy. If they just skate, they don't have to be accountable for any of that cause it's like it never really happened.

Except it did.

So I repeat: ghosting is WACK - I have NO respect for it. Once someone is worth "seeing where it goes" with, they should also be worth a heads up if things change. With that being said, by all means, PLEASE feel free to be out, should you ever feel compelled. Bounce while my memories of you consist of those few good times we had and not some fucked up shit you were bound to do eventually. But if you decide THIS is how you wanna make your exit, please know that traffic in the ghost lane only flows in one direction. Don't bring your ass back.

Monday, November 21, 2016

All The Way Up

I love Remy Ma and Papoose. Every time I see them together, I think.... damn. They on some Bey and Jay shit, on a hood level, and that's the shit I think we all aspire to. I know I do. I want that dude to come along who actually SEES me and recognizes my greatness and puts his whole self behind it. But I will admit that as I watched them on Love and Hip Hop this week, I started thinking about Papoose's greatness and how it's falling by the wayside. He's managing Remy's career and taking it to another level and that is awesome, but he's an amazing rapper too. What about his dreams? If he has replaced his dream of being on stage making niggas sick with his lyrics with a dream of being some manager extraordinaire then fine. But does he still yearn deep inside to be back on the mic? I secretly wish that conversation takes place on screen because I really want to know. Does he have this deep-seeded resentment that Remy's been able to get her career back on and it's come at the cost of his own? I don't know. I just know he's dope and the game needs him and it makes me wonder if my super couple's kryptonite is tunnel vision. Why can't they be the Barack and Michelle of hip hop? I soooooooooo want that. A Remy and Papoose compilation would be so ill. Why isn't anybody else thinking about this??? What's wrong with America????

Oh........... Trump's our President. Fuck!

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Co-Pays: I Got "Got"

If you have health insurance, make sure you understand your coverage - at least the basic co-pays and stuff. My family is relatively healthy so we only go for those yearly appointments which could mean we've got totally different insurance than we had the last time we were there, given how often companies change providers. Only thing I knew at any given time was that our doctors were in-network and that's because I based my choices primarily on that.

But I got got earlier this week. I went in for my yearly physical and battery of tests and they charged me a $45 co-pay. Now, I expected to have a co-pay but $45 seemed high - that's usually the kind of co-pay you have when you go see a specialist. So I'm getting my wallet out super slowly, and I ask to be sure, "45?" Dude behind the desk: "45" with an attitude like bitch, that's what I said, ain't it? I pay it but I'm salty cause you don't take my money with no attitude LOL.

Then I get to work yesterday and I sit through the open enrollment webinar - because once again, we're changing providers - and I see on the payment schedule NO CO-PAY for routine "well" services. So when the question/answer phase comes, I ask about it. Maybe it's new for 2017, you know? She says no, it's always been that way. So now I'm thinking real hard because not only have I paid $45 the day before for one of those "well" visits, but I recall clearly paying co-pays prior as well. I'm sure there was an actual sick visit or 3 over the years, but with our pediatrician especially, there has never been anything but physicals and I've been charged. So I guess you know my first contact was to my doctor to let him know he could so kindly reverse that $45 charge and of course, he's all "You're absolutely right! Done." Mm hmm. SOMEBODY entered the visit code, Doc. I ain't saying it was you, even though you made my appointment, I'm just saying SOMEBODY LOL. And you better believe I will be stalking my account to see that $45 come on back.

Benefit shit, especially through work, can be complicated and confusing. If you never pay that shit any attention, zone in during that open enrollment session. If you don't know anything else, know your co-pays. I bet doctors everywhere are charging co-pays left and right because people don't know no better. SMH

Friday, November 11, 2016

In My Bag

My cousin lost his long-time girlfriend yesterday morning. Sickle cell. She had been in and out of the hospital more frequently lately but it was still a surprise to hear she had died. He's so heartbroken and it's not a way I'm used to seeing him.

Spoke to Mr. Broadway tonight. It's been a while. We've had some texts periodically over the last year but I haven't actually seen him in about two. He tells me he was involved in the shoot-out last week that claimed the life of another Bronx officer. The funeral was yesterday. We catch up on each other's goings on and I told him I wanted to be added to his notify list. He explains to me that he is responsible for notifications and it's hell on the individuals getting it, but I counter that I'd rather know than not get any responses to my calls or texts, find out later that he's been dead a year and not have a chance to say goodbye. He agreed to add me.

I guess I'm in my bag of feelings tonight. I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just acknowledging that someone you love can be taken from you with no warning and you might be left holding that bag. In honesty, although I vibe with a lot of people, not very many are really that important to me. The ones who are, are everything and if you fall into that category, you know. I have been blessed to not suffer any personal losses in recent years but I know it's a temporary reprieve and at some point, it will hit. Hard. For all I know, it could even be me. Life is short.... soooo short. So while quoting Alicia Keys might be super corny, whatever it is you do with me..... PLEASE..... do it like you'll never see me again.

You just never know.

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

180 Degrees

I was exhausted last night so I didn't stay up to see the election results. Either way it went, this country was gonna be up to it's ass in alligators. Stranger things have happened, but I didn't think we were ever in any REAL danger of Trump becoming President. I mean, who in their right mind would actually put the next four years in this man's hands? Yeah, well..... imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to the shit storm of disappointment and anger flooding my Facebook timeline. I was just as much in shock as I wasn't. With everything else we've seen taking place in this country over the last couple of years, nothing should really surprise us anymore, so as much as I had hoped people's sensibilities would kick in at the polls, it wasn't completely unexpected. It was just........ sad.

It's sad because the smoke has officially cleared, the veils have been lifted and there's no more denial to hide behind. We can no longer tell ourselves the lies that allow us to sleep at night. What do I mean? Well.... how many people does it take to vote in a President? Donald Trump is arguably the most divisive candidate there ever was, easily the most blatantly disrespectful, misogynistic and racist, giving not a single fuck how you or your mama feels about it but however many people it takes to vote a guy in are apparently FINE with that. Just think about that shit. Sad, right?

I was so disappointed, about EVERYTHING - people who voted for Trump, people who didn't vote at all and people who wasted their vote to write in "Deez Nuts" or fucken "Harambe" instead of taking the shit seriously - that all I could do for a while this morning was sit on the side of my bed, staring out the window. By the time I realized I was gonna be late for work fucking around, I had decided this election was not gonna ruin my day. An hour into the office though, I still hadn't quite shaken it. I couldn't escape the office chatter and it was pissing me off. Then all of a sudden my cell phone rings. My baby was in happy tears, and suddenly, nothing else mattered.

See, a couple of weeks ago, my daughter came to me, stressed out about failing Biology. Let me explain something about my daughter; she does not fail. Period. Anything. So the fact that she wasn't doing well in Science was really fuckin her up. High school freshmen have enough to worry about so I made it very clear to her that she's putting this pressure on herself, it's not coming from me. A's or C's, Ima love her the same, and she may not be used to it, but some things she's just gonna have to work harder to be good at. I did my part in helping her - spoke to her teacher, helped her study - and Monday she got a 109 out of 120 on her test, bringing her grade up 7 points, to passing. That phone call was everything. Not just because I told her she could do it and she did, but because she could have waited til I got home to tell me. Instead, she got the news and she had to tell her mom right then. THAT, my friends, is the shit that matters. Not some orange, toupee-wearing villain from Gotham who, in my opinion, is little more than a year from impeachment - I'm calling it. I mean, let's be real here. How long do you really think it will take for him to do something so reckless the rest of the government will have to get him outta there to save face?

Meh. Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but that moment today snapped things right back into perspective for me. Some shit is out of your control and even things you can impact aren't always going to go your way. I still have real concerns about this bastard being in office, don't get me wrong, but he can't get anymore of my attention. I'm in the concrete jungle, so I'll quote my man Jigga; "he only get half a bar - FUCK that nigga."