Hot Sauce

I wanted to wait until I got home to write today's post so I wouldn't be rushing, but then I came across this one. In many ways, it echoes my sentiments. Read it here:

http://www.lovebscott.com/news/piers-morgan-i-feel-uncomfortable-about-beyonce-using-grieving-mothers-to-sell-albums

My use of the word "overall" in my previous post was due to several things that didn't jive for me in the "Lemonade" piece. The inclusion of the mothers of recent victims of violence was a major one. I remember hearing a few weeks back that she was going to feature them in an upcoming video but when I saw that it was this project, it really didn't make a whole lot of sense to me. Like..... what's the correlation to even the bigger picture story here? I can't find one that isn't completely forced and this is one of the issues I have with Beyonce too. She somehow always finds a way lately to attach herself to something that's going on in the most synthetic way imaginable. While some see her as an activist, it comes off quite contrived and opportunistic to me. To a lesser extent, it's the problem I've always had with her; she never felt genuine.

But let's say she's an activist. Go activate LOL. Like physically go and show up and SAY something to the masses. Don't mask it in a song that creates a line you can straddle called art when convenient. Be seen actually DOING something other than cutting a check (although good look on those LOL) A supporter, maybe. Activist? No.

I actually have a lot of feelings about this project, as I said in the first post the other day. Most positive, but some not so much. The grieving mothers thing didn't sit well with me at all, so I'm glad I'm not the only one who was thrown by it, even if my constituents are the likes of Piers Morgan - Sheesh LOL. But even assholes make good points sometimes. *shrugs*

The most positive thing I can say about "Lemonade" apart from that I really liked it (which, if you know me, is a huge compliment) is that if nothing else, it started conversations. Yes, most began with her - about her - but my timeline last night was full of really deep banter among men and women of all kinds of backgrounds. They were discussing everything from the perception of the black woman to cheating to ... sheesh, everything. There were some really strong opinions thrown out there from all positions and some of those conversations got really intense, but at the end of the day, there can be no growth without exploration. In order to progress, we must have these conversations, and positive or negative, I think that's the most IMPORTANT thing this project achieved.

See, Bey? Now we're getting somewhere.

Lemonade, Not Tea

Honey! *Slaps the air* Lemonade tryna to put tea outta business, girl LOL.

Okay so first of all, let's acknowledge that seeing just the two videos I saw pre-post COMPLETELY tainted my perspective LOL. After watching the whole video, I received a totally different message. I took it upon myself to watch the full hour-long video online yesterday and then actually watch the re-air of the HBO special last night. Let me tell you though, I NEEDED to watch it both times cause Yonce' kinda lost me in a couple places the first time; fool me twice LOL.

Now I'm at work and I got shit to do so I ain't gonna get all philosophical and what not.... at least not a lot LOL.... but I will go on record to say that I was actually pretty impressed with the special. I was. A lot could still be left to interpretation - as with most art - but I think when you take a step back and look from a wider lens, you realize much of her point was that everything is a cycle and breaking said cycle is a CHOICE. Leaving is a CHOICE. Forgiveness is a CHOICE. Staying and putting in the work is a CHOICE. I think she was also saying it's okay to change your mind. It's okay to feel different today than you did yesterday. Sidebar: I think that's okay too, and that's the number one reason I don't believe in running and telling all your friends about some shit that's gone down. You gonna get all these damn opinions, all this "fuck that nigga" fanfare and when you finally settle down and come to that place in the dark, you're gonna feel even more conflicted because of the pressure to do the thing you don't wanna do anymore. Now you dont wanna look stupid to everybody. But you would never be in that place if you wore your own welts. Just saying.

Anyway, I gotta go, but I wanted to take a minute to give Bey props on the overall special. While I definitely think she was doing too much at points (I mean, Bey, come on, the majority of your fan base is NOT this deep LOL) I think it was beautifully done and I would not be surprised if she won some sort of award for it.

Beyonce's Lemonade

Some of y'all are probably gonna feel a way about this post, but this my house, so in true "Lemonade" spirit, #NOFXGIVEN. Don't get comfortable "other folks" because some of y'all might feel a way by the end of this too. This is gonna be all over the place. Please see previous disclaimer.

One of our last living musical legends has died, been autopsied, cremated and memorialized all in a span of 3 days. Before dove tears could dry, Beyonce has dropped her sixth album, entitled "Lemonade", complete with HBO special, which aired last night. Prince fans were already shorted time to grieve by the speed of all these arrangements and now this heffa once again has the internet all abuzz. I know programming had already been set in advance, but I'm still salty about the timing. That said, it has provided an oddly welcomed distraction from my feelings, so.... I'm gonna go on ahead and drink the Kool-Aid.

Now if you can't tell by now, I ain't really here for Bey - not 2016 Bey, anyway. I loved Destiny's Child and I was a modest fan of her earlier solo work as well. All this new-age ratchetness she's fallen into has left a bad taste in my mouth. The things she's done, the level she has reached in her career; why you rolling around on the floor with platinum grills on? Why you still out here in next to nothing, grinding and twerking? Don't get me wrong, she is at a level where she can absolutely do whatever the fuck she wants, but it annoys me that the things she chooses to do are things them young starter bitches gotta do to get on. You don't have to do that so I question why she chooses to. That said, Partition bangs. It is what it is.

I didn't catch the HBO special last night, but my Facebook timeline was flooded with a double video from the album this morning. In the video, Bey merges two songs (Don't Hurt Yourself and I think the other is I Aint Sorry) about being fed up with a cheating husband. Now we don't know for sure this is about her and Jay-Z, but we can speculate that it is based on recent occurrences. If you've been under a rock somewhere for the past couple years, allow me to fill you in:

- Most eyebrows first started to raise when Bey's sister, Solange, was caught on video going OFF in an elevator, trying to fight Jay-Z during a gala at, I think, the Met. Speculation then was that the altercation was as a result of Solange standing up for her sister. We didn't know right away what that was about, but most came to the conclusion that it had something to do with a woman Jay was being far too friendly with. Some speculated it was Rihanna initially, who was also at the event, but later sources indicated that it was fashion designer Rachel Roy.

- Last month, it was reported that Beyonce showed up to a party given for Kelly Rowland, upset. She allegedly began drinking like a fish and crying, saying she wanted a divorce. Sources said her mother pulled her aside, essentially told her to get her shit together, and Beyonce recanted to the group, saying she was just joking.

A few other things supposedly occurred that made people wonder what was really going on behind closed doors with the couple, but these are the two major incidents that fueled the "trouble in paradise" fire. Fast forward to this video and she seems to be confirming that all may not be well in the Carter home. Among other things, Bey seems to be saying that Jay is a liar who comes home all times of night and she's had enough of his shenanigans, as evident in the statement, "You try this shit again, you gon lose your wife," followed by a taunting toss of her ring into the camera. In the second part of the video, which co-stars Serena Williams, Bey repeats, "I ain't sorry," and "I ain't thinking bout you." She also states she and her baby gonna be alright and ends the song with, "You better call Becky with the good hair."

*pause* ................. LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sorry, I lost my whole entire shit on that part LOL.

As reported on fan favorite B. Scott's blog, "Becky with the good hair" appears to be Rachel Roy. Rachel so much as confirmed this when she started sneak-dissing on Twitter, posting: “Good hair don’t care, but we will take good lighting, for selfies, or self truths, always. live in the light #nodramaqueens.” Definite #rookiemove but the fact that she even did this would cause one to believe that this has been an ongoing issue, and/or something else happened more recently for her to assume the song was about her (No Carlie Simon). You can read the B. Scott story here (cut and paste): http://www.lovebscott.com/news/the-other-woman-rachel-roy-just-outed-herself-as-becky-with-the-good-hair-in-beyonces-lemonade-photo

Now again, I don't know if this is really about Beyonce and Jay-Z, but assuming it is, I had a whole lotta feelings about all of this. Most I'll save for another blog but I will say this much....

On the one hand, after the third run of this video, I wanted to applaud Beyonce for standing up for herself on some "I don't need you, nigga" shit and seemingly harnessing her power, but I couldn't help but cringe a little at the fact that she vented in this manner. Not even necessarily because she is putting all her business in the street, but because it pretty much made void all the years she and her camp put into being super private. It seemed painfully counterproductive. That said, one could also argue that she's taking back control of her life, finally not afraid to speak her truth and is done protecting HIS image. But let's talk about his image.

Many of us were surprised to learn that she had married Jay-Z. He's like the epitome of "You sure?" LOL Because it makes total sense from the Jay-Z perspective but not so much from hers. With him you got the "Get me a good girl who has her own so she won't be after mine and because she is naive, she'll be 'crazy in love' and she will want to believe that I would never do these things." I ain't saying that's what he was thinking but.... a lot of us thought that is what he was thinking LOL. I say that to say Jay-Z was kind of a bad boy. And he's not fucken ASAP Rocky, he's Jay muthafucken Z, legendary hip hop entrepreneur extraordinaire. He did shit that it wouldn't stand to reason to most of us that he would stop doing, i.e. fuck bitches LOL. I will admit, he did give off the perception of the stand-up guy for a LONG time. I was very proud of the power couple they became and even prouder of the lack of scandal that surrounded them for so long. When all this stuff started spewing out from every social orifice, it was like.... it was bound to happen eventually. Not because all men cheat, but because ain't shit niggas ain't shit LOL.

Let's not act like we forgot all the Jay-Z antics of the 90's. Let's never forget all the OPP Jay-Z was attached to. Let me remind you that Rachel Roy was engaged to his one-time business partner and BFF, Dame Dash. I don't think a lot of us believe this alleged affair hasn't been going on since way back then. I surely don't.

I don't want this album to be art imitating life because I love Jay-Z and I want to believe he's grown up. But "Big Homie need to grow up" doesn't give me much hope.

For those of you, like me, who missed "Lemonade" last night, it will be airing on HBO again tonight at 8pm. If you don't have HBO, no worries. HBO is running a free trial weekend right now so you'll be able to tune in too. OR, I did find the full video after watching these two. You can catch it on my Facebook page right now.... til somebody shuts me down.

Why we still here?

It's 3 p.m. and I'm in the office saucy as hell LOL.

It's not my fault, like at all. My plan for lunch was shoe shopping. Nothing major, just a run to replace some simple loafers I feel have run their course. But noooooo. 83 degrees on a Friday and somebody has the bright idea that we should do team lunch in the park. Chipotle, no less (I kinda hate Chipotle) but I'm a team player. I did try to get lunch from another place nearby but that was a failed mission so I settled for Chipotle. Got soft tacos this time instead of that rice bowl bullshit. I still hated it but it was better. I think maybe I dont like the rice and stuff. Hell, I didnt like the chicken either so.... anyway, we lucked up and got a primo table in the park. Early-out hints started dropping left and right. Boss wasn't having it but he did buy us a pitcher of margaritas when we were done eating. I don't know how he thought that was a good idea. Ain't nobody gonna be productive after that LOL. I'm so buzzed, I can barely keep my eyes open. Then half the office was gone when we got back so you know them hints started dropping again. He hasn't said anything but I'm hoping when he's done shitting (cause I know that's what he doing after that big ass burrito LOL) he'll just call the day. I mean, they over here betting each other $20 somebody cant name the first 20 states in alphabetical order.

Clearly nobody's working. ....

Why we still here?

Fucked up

This shit don't even seem real, man. When Mike died, there were a couple things in play that made me feel the way I felt, not the least of which being that he was my dude like that. The circumstances, the timing, it was the hardest loss I could take outside of actual family or close friends. But with Prince.... where the hell did this shit come from? I can't even front; I thought of Prince like a vampire. He didn't fucken age, he didn't lose a damn beat in all these years, and I just didn't think of him dying like EVER. Of all the people I thought we might be mourning this year, he wasn't even a mention. Now he's dead? This shit is trippy. It feels like a bad movie where somebody is supposed to be dead but they aren't and they show up at the end of the movie just wanting to see who would care. Like Deliver Us From Eva or some shit. It still does not feel real to me. But I know it is, and I know there is more to the story - and that emergency plane landing last week - than what we have heard. 48 minutes from their destination and they have to do an emergency landing? I would bet he had an [epileptic] seizure on the plane. Either that or he had an episode of some sort, passed out, lost consciousness, and they didn't know what to do. The flu ain't bringing down no plane 48 minutes from their destination. I need to know.

I was supposed to go to a happy hour after work today but one of the main people I was going there to catch up with wasn't going to make it, so I bailed. I found myself basically wandering aimlessly through the streets of Manhattan, not quite ready to go home, but with no other direction in the state of mind I was in. I eventually made my way toward Port Authority and who do I see? Fine ass Lamman Rucker. I noticed him doing something on his phone outside the subway station near Bryant Park, with a chick so regular, she had to be like his cousin or something. I watched him for a minute as I got closer and just as I passed him, he looked me in the eye. Lamman Rucker has SEEN MY FACE so he knows I exist and I couldn't even enjoy that shit, man.

i'm just sitting here watching Prince videos, happy these music networks are stopping and dropping everything to pay tribute to this man, but mourning the loss of genius we will never again see in our lifetime. Rest in purple, Prince. The doves are indeed crying tonight....

R.I.P. Prince Rogers Nelson

I don't understand why.... or rather HOW.... this keeps happening. All our legendary, record-breaking musical icons gone at such young ages. Yes, in some cases, drugs abuse factored in but it doesn't explain away stuff like this. Granted, we don't yet know the official cause of death, but I think it's safe to say that nobody expected this. I, for one, am crushed by this news and taken back to the moment seven years ago (damn) when I learned Michael Jackson had died. My entire world world stopped then and while I'm not curled up in a ball on the floor, crying my eyes out today, everything around me is moving quite a bit slower. All my senses heightened and I'm uber aware of my surroundings. I'm like.... submerged in this moment. I really just can't believe it.

Dammit, man..... my top 3 of all-time are officially gone. ALL of them. SMH.

Rest in peace, Prince.

Military Men

I know this is a really random thought but I'm not dating any more military men either. Military men are some of the biggest liars on the planet next to politicians and fucken Aries men LOL. I had that thought over the weekend while I was sick and laid up, watching Investigation Discovery. This dude was telling his girlfriend he was deploying OVERSEAS like every 4-8 weeks and only being gone like 2-6 weeks. These are back-to-back deployments. Now I ain't never been in the military myself but I have been close enough to some of those who have to know that's not how it works. The shitty part is that a lot of women don't and these guys play on that ignorance, coupled with your admiration of their bravery and courage and all that other shiny shit those fatigues come with. We'll sit there chatting them up to our friends like they are so fucken noble - "Oh he's over in Afghanistan right now..."

Mannnnn, that nigga in Toledo with his other family, LMAO!

Just let it marinate...

Slowing Down

I been trying to write this damn blog for bout 4 days now. Every time I would start it, something would interrupt me and then I would never get back around to finishing it. I would come back with every intention of doing so, but then I would no longer be in the spirit of which I was at the time and just start over with something else. And repeat.

Having said that, there really is no way I could have come back and not started over on any of those days. The last four days, I've probably gone through every emotion, every state of mind, every thought process..... and if we take it back a full week, forget about it. It's been quite the roller coaster lately. I'm in a good place now but I definitely was feeling like the world was just spinning way too fast. Then I realized it wasn't the world, it was me. Going 100 miles a minute, EVERY minute, just going, going, going not despite but BECAUSE so much was going on around me. The closer it came to home, the more winded I got until finally I couldn't go anymore. So now I'm in this place of "stop" and for how long is anybody's guess, but I know it's necessary. My keys on the counter though. Soon as God gives the head nod, you know I'm gone again LOL.

But for now, we rest.