Second Thoughts

Second thoughts are tricky. When you have them, how do you know if they're legit? I mean sometimes something can happen to make you feel uncomfortable about a situation. When such an event occurs, I'd say those second thoughts are legitimate feelings that probably need to be heeded. Many a man has fallen ignoring the signs.

But what about the occasions where you have these second thoughts out of nowhere, with no precipitating event? You know those situations that seem just too good to be true? Those occasions where things are just going way too well for way too long? Is it your own insecurity that, at some point, kicks in and makes you pull back without any real reason, expecting - as experience has taught you - that the other shoe always drops eventually? Is an extra-sensory perception that only consciously seems unwarranted but through your own intuition is made valid (meaning you dont know why you feel it but you do and your gut feelings are rarely wrong)? Is it fear? Or is it simply boredom, or an excuse to move on to something else - perhaps something more safe?

I guess there are all kinds of reasons why a person can start to rethink a decision they've made or a direction they've decided to go in, but me personally - I hate the appearance of second thoughts. Second thoughts, for me, almost always mean the party's over, and that's because my intuition is rarely wrong. And Im a checker. I take inventory when I feel a certain way and try to figure out where its coming from so I dont make a rash decision and regret it. Im not always successful at uncovering the source, though. Sometimes it comes down to there being absolutely no reason at all for me to feel like I need to pump the brakes, but you know what? I usually feel that's God trying to tell me something, so more often than not, the party's over.

So here I am again, standing in the doorway, unsure of whether to step in or out. In this particular case, only a slight causal occurrence - a pattern change, which we all should have a right to make - but still gives me pause.

What to do? Hmmmm. Maybe I'll sleep on it.