Man Gone Mad

Ever look at yourself in the mirror and think you need to get your life together? Yeah, me too. But there is always somebody who comes along and makes you realize just how bad things COULD be, and makes you grateful.

I was in the field today at the job, riding through the community with one of my techs, dropping in customers, winning back business and that type of thing. I had never met this man before today, but I think I know everything there is to know about this fool after the last six hours being with him, and from the intel I collected, that is NOT a good thing. If I just met him today and I learned all this stuff, he better not ever piss off any of his friends at the job, because guarantee they know all this too, and his ass would be toast.

First of all, dude WREAKED of last night's drinking binge. Im talking about it was oozing from his pours. Face all flushed red, eyes all bloodshot still, just a mess. He tells me how his girlfriend hung up on him last night and Im like "for what?" "Oh cause I said I wanna kill myself."

*blank stare*

Really? I didnt know whether to laugh or what, cause he couldnt be serious, but later, I realized he was. He made mention of wanting to kill himself several times throughout the day, but laughed about it, like it was funny. Dude has some serious problems.

His wife left him and has been trying to divorce him for two years, and finally got that completed in the last couple of weeks. Why'd she divorce him? He wouldnt go to rehab.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Rehab is for fags."

*staring into the camera*

Look here, Mr. Winehouse, IDK bout that, but you need to go SOMEWHERE cause you aint right. You're sitting here telling me you were pissed off at your girlfriend last night for hanging up on you and you drove around looking for some coke, but couldnt find any, so you went home and drank some more, fell asleep, woke up at 2am and drank some more, and came in to work at 7:30? Really? And let's not even mention how many times he got on FB while we were out, checking her FB status. At one point it said something to the effect of "Lord give me strength, my angel wings are slipping, Im not gonna be the recepticle for people's bullshit." This dude spent 15 minutes trying to read into it and figure out what she meant, so he could make a comment on it. It's not rocket science, dude, she clearly is having a bad day - maybe week - and is about to flip out if things dont start to turn around, but not everything she ever says on here is gonna be about you, so stop reading into it. You just spoke to her and she was fine with you, so its probably your own insecurity with yourself and having a girlfriend who's way hotter than you think you deserve that's making you think that.

Get your life.

He told me a whole slew of other shit that I dont even have the strength to repeat here, but bottom line, dude needs to seek professional help, because I believe he will one day be successful at killing himself, even if its not on purpose.

*Adding one more to the prayer list*

He just doesnt care about himself. That's scary. No matter how fucked up I may think things are in my life, Im not ever gonna be in a space like that. If nothing else with my name next to it has any value, my life does. This dude's got kids, like 13 and 9 or something like that, not too far off from my kids' ages. I cant imagine having the mindset he has. But he's talking about how he wants love in his life. Dude, you need to have love FOR your life before you can bring somebody else's love into it. If you dont think you're worth loving, why should some random woman who has problems of her own? She aint gonna love you for free, baby, she's gonna be looking for some love in return, and you just aint got none to spare.

And its a damn shame. *smh*