Im Gonna Learn One Day

Ok so.... LOL.... admittedly, I have a problem. I have a tendency to check up on people sometimes, just because I see them online, or pass by their number in my cell phone contacts, like "Oh I havent talked to them in a long time, let me see how they're doing."

*staring into the camera*

Bitch, there is a REASON you have not talked to them in a long time, go with that LOL. So I fell victim to it again today (smh) and, as I do most times, regretted it.

The fact that it was an ex of mine should have been the first sign. The reasons we broke up should have been the second sign. The fact that the mere mention of his name makes all my friends dry heave should have been the third, but noooooooo, I see him online and what do I do? I say hi.

*sigh*

So I say hi and we chit chat for like 2 minutes, nothing doing, cool. I'm done, so I'm like "ok well I just saw you on and figured I would say hey, so Ima let you go." He's like "Ok, take care of yourself and my little homies" (the midgets). Far as Im concerned, we done LOL.

EH!!! Wrong.

Not 15 seconds later, he comes back with "Ima fly up there some time soon to see you, you gonna let me spend some time with you?"

*staring into the camera*

"Define time."

"Time. Like on a weekend, to come up there and rebuild what we once had."

*staring into the camera*

"Which was what?"

"Our relationship."

*staring into the camera*

"Um........no. I'm good, thanks."

"Oh you rough on a brotha. Why cant we rekindle our flame?"

*staring into the camera*

So at this point, I am trying to maintain my center LOL. I simply spell out the terms under which that "relationship" ended and told him that I would have to be crazy to put myself back in that situation again. I then told him that he is lucky I havent burned and done a voo doo death ceremony over his jacket that he left here all that time ago, that pisses me off every time I remember it is still hanging in my coat closet. Note to self.......... nah, damn a note to self, I'll be right back...........

..............

.........that shit (now bagged up with the rest of the shit scheduled to go to the Goodwill on Monday) is probably a reason for some of this negative ass energy that's been floating through here LOL. Buh-bye.

Anyway, some time last year, he hit me up on Myspace all super late at night, wanting to bear his soul and shit, confessing all his sins, finally admitting to all the bullshit he did. He must not have written any of that down, because today he was in total denial of ever having done them, and claims to, today, be keeping it 100 with me. Mm, so when you laid out in front of that bus and let it roll over you all those months ago, you just felt like being sacrificed and THIS is actually the real truth? Okay.

When I tell yall I broke on this dude, I mean I broke a sweat LOL. I have not flipped on a person that hard in QUITE some time. I was EXHAUSTED when I was done. You know you fired somebody up when you need a drink of water afterwards LOL. But I have nobody to blame but myself. I shouldnt have even accepted his friend request on FB, and I damn sure shouldnt have given a hot damn about how he's doing to even be saying hi when I saw him online, so yes, I take full responsibility for the fuckery that ensued, but you know what? I got a lot of shit off my chest that needed to be said, and I feel like I could do some laps right now LOL. I have to say, Mikmirah's blog comment from a week or so ago was spinning all through my mind at the time - Oh Im supposed to believe it took you all this time (and a random message from me) to realize you want that old thing back? GTFOH! I hope the crabs of 10,000 whores land in your boxer drawer and your arms are too short to scratch! LOL

(Im sorry, Jesus, Im just playin, but you know he deserves it!)