Got Condoms?

I just had to share LOL.

Me and the midgets went grocery shopping today. I spent like $300, too, and let me tell you, I am not a happy camper, but I digress LOL.

I bought some condoms right, LOL, and I thought I was all slick, making sure I sent my son into another aisle so he wouldnt see me grab them. What I didnt count on was him being the one who put them up on the conveyor belt at the checkout. I was so busy with the cashier, I forgot about them, and I happened to turn and look at him, right after he put them down, and caught him eyeing them like WTF? LOL

Now my son is in the sixth grade - he's gonna be twelve in a couple of weeks - so I can just about imagine the horror of thinking about his mom having sex, so I immediately went into disaster recovery mode. I didnt say anything at first, but I sensed some ewww-ness coming from his direction for the next 20 minutes, so I figured on having to do something soon.

Six hours later, it comes to me. I recalled a moment earlier this week, while we were watching TV together, where somebody mentioned something about condoms. I cant remember exactly what it was or what he said, but he didnt understand it, and it got us into a brief conversation about condoms having to be put on correctly, but that even if they are, they sometimes break. That was my way out tonight.

We were watching TV together again, and I said to him, "So I bought some condoms." His eyes got all big like mom, please dont LOL. I continued, saying that I wanted to teach him about them, and show him how to use them properly. If yall could have seen the look on this boy's face LMAOOOOOO! He tensed all up, guarding his boyhood, thinking I was gonna show him ON him, and I couldnt do anything but laugh.

I said, "Boy, Im not gonna show you on you, Im gonna demonstrate on something else." I told him I know (read: hope) he doesnt need them right now but things happen faster now than they did back when I was his age, and whenever he does need them, I want to make sure he knows how to use them the right way. He seemed to get a little more comfortable as I went on, so I hope the lesson goes well. We will probably do it in the next couple of days and Im sure there will be major bloggage soon after LOL. He has these fast ass lil girls calling and texting him already, so it's none too soon. They wont be sending MY baby home with no damn babies!