Am I The Only One?

Ok folks, so this is my first real chance to blog since I got to Minneapolis yesterday evening, but I actually wrote this on the plane. I dont know about anybody else, but traveling the friendly skies tends to get my mind racing. I be thinking ALL KINDS of mess LOL. is it just me?

Am I the only one.....

-who prays over the plane, pilots, passengers, flight attendants AND the lil pudgy boy outside in the orange vest? LOL

-who at the first sign of turbulence, can't think about nothing else but all the bad shit you did over the last few days, hoping God's gonna give you a pass cause he "knows your heart" and I mean, you do got kids to raise LOL

-who never wants to talk to their mama any other time, but she be the first person you call when you get on a plane, because you think she prays better than you? LOL

-who has been a plane that taxied so long, you felt like you were IN a taxi? LOL No bullshit, for a hot second there, I forgot where I was. You are soooo not supposed to get caught up in the scenery on a runway. You been taxiing too damn long LOL.

-who has that "what if this is my last trip ever?" moment while Im boarding the plane, taking note of all the faces of the people getting on the plane with me? LOL Yo! I be buggin like, shit, these muthafuckas might end up being my homeys, we might have to band together and take a bitch down LMAO! Sitting there casting the made-for-tv movie in my head and shit like "Yup, Markie Post can play her. She kinda look like her." LOL

-who listens intently to the flight attendant cause you dont want people to see you looking at the safety card and think youre paranoid?

-who IS paranoid when any other device besides a laptop gets turned on on the plane? I aint never in life cracked open the "acceptable devices" pamphlet to know what would be an "acceptable device" but fuck that, dont turn on NOTHING LOL. I be getting the fllight attendant's attention, asking for more peanuts (and I dont even like peanuts LOL) just so she can come see the shit they got and make em turn it off if it aint safe LOL. If she dont say nothing, I know its straight. I dont care, call me what you want, I bet if we go down, it wont be because of some damn unacceptable device LOL

-who gets such a thorough fligt attendant on the connecting flight, that the one from the previous flight just seemed like a LAZY bitch? LOL Let her say some extra shit that the first flight attendant aint say, change your WHOLE experience LOL

Speaking of the flight attendants, they kill me when they get attitudes. How you gonna be a stewardess and not be a people person, and dont want nobody to ask you no questions? LOL WTF? This heffa asked me what I want to drink right? So Im like "tea." She hands me a can of Nestea Iced Tea and a cup of ice.

*staring into the camera*

Now Ima reign it in for a second, because maybe its just me, but if I had wanted iced tea, I probably would have said iced tea, no? I aint want no damn iced tea LOL. She was about to move on to the next passenger row, so I touched her arm. "Om sorry, do you have any hot tea?" All she said was "no" but her face was giving me "no, bitch, we dont have hot tea, do you see anybody else on this muthafucka with some hot damn tea?" LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO! Good thing I didnt spring for some alcohol, I might have had to cuss about my $5 wine coming with a side of attitude LOL.

Make me sick LOL

Ok let me go yall, I have to shower and change to go hob-nob with the big whigs. We gon talk about these damn drink tickets too LOL. Ill save that for next time LOL.