One to Grow On

Advice is like dick: not everyone can give it, and not everyone can take it.

If you're going to give it, take into account who you're talking to, and deliver your opinion accordingly. If you are going to take a stance of brutal honesty, get clearance for it first. That way, if the person isnt really equipped to handle the truth as you see it, you can tell em to holla at you when they are. If you are not in a position to be honest in your advice-giving, dont give any. Just listen and let that person talk themselves to their own conclusion, because you won't help the situation. There is nothing more disturbing than somebody smiling and nodding along with some fool who done obviously lost their damn mind, cause they dont wanna hurt their feelings. And most importantly, dont stress yourself out about it, or get so personally vested that you are upset if they dont follow your advice. Understand two things: one, that person may not be telling you everything, which would explain why your advice is not being taken. Two, you can only lead the horse to the water. You cant make it drink. Sometimes, the best help you can give to people is to pray for them.

If you're going to ask for advice, be prepared for it to not be what you want to hear. Comisery is what girls nights are for, dont take that to somebody's couch space. If you call a friend and interrupt their primetime lineup, talking about you need to talk, or you want their opinion on something, don't expect them to stroke your ego. Keep in mind that while you and your friends would not be friends if you didnt have certain things in common, what to do in certain situations is not necessarily one of them. You cannot get upset if they dont agree with your line of thinking, and remember - YOU asked THEM for advice, not the other way around.

Most times I think it best to keep things to yourself and think it through over a number of hours or days, if you have the luxury of doing so. You eventually bring yourself to a decision about what should be done. This is especially directed at indecisive people, because bringing someone else into it will come back to bite you more often than not. You will swear up and down "Well im just gonna ..." or "I dont care no more, Im just not gonna...." and 3 days later, you are doing exactly what you said you wouldnt, looking stupid. Keep your business to yourself. Just because you have friends doesnt mean they need to know your every move. You came in this world by yourself, you'll likely leave it the same way, and there's a whole lotta consequences and repercussions in between that are the result of decisions YOU made, that only YOU have to deal with.

So be your own person. We all need a little help sometimes - a push in the right direction - but a push, not a roadmap and a ride too LOL. Choose for yourself and then the only side eye you have to deal with is the one coming from your own reflection in the mirror.