12-30-12

Back in Jersey, trying to close up the weekend with a little productivity. Cleaning the house, doing laundry and eventually putting up the stuff I dragged down from my girlfriend's attic. I just realized half the stuff needs a shelf or something to go on LOL. Guess I got some shopping to do.

Ended my trip upstate with a night out at the club with some of my peoples. It wasnt quite the night out we were looking for but I had a decent time, considering. The downside was having too good a time with somebody it took me forever to get out of my system. Before the night was over, I was right back where I didnt want to be - tossing and turning all night, hating life and wishing things were different. I think I cried for like a half hour on my way outta town....smh. But I aint bout that life no more. Things are not different, but I am. The "wisdom to know the difference" has made ALL the difference in my life of late and while its something I wish I didnt have to do.... AGAIN.... I will get over it. AGAIN.

And in the spirit of moving on, I am excited to see what the new year has in store for me. I always look forward to bigger and better things for the year to come, but this is the first time in a couple years that I actually believed there were great things ahead. Maybe its because I once again feel like Im starting over, either willingly or reluctantly leaving a lot of things behind, but leaving them behind nonetheless.

Still one whole week before I have to go back to work, so once I get the house back in order, I'll work on getting my credit there too and do some of the writing that's been burning a hole in my to-do list for the last few weeks. Mr. "walk down Broadway" owes me dinner and though Im not feeling he's gonna be my "next big thing" he's more than happy keeping the seat warm while I wait. Im good with that. Just ordered the books I need for my next class and ... well.... Im just ready for whatever is on the horizon. Not gonna speculate as to what might be, just ready for it.

I hope you all are preparing new and better "you's" for 2013, not making resolutions, but real deal changes in your lives. You know what they say - a life unexamined is one not worth the living. Well, thats what THEY say LOL. I feel the random, unexpected moments that warm your heart, make you smile or encourage you to dream, examined or not, make EVERY life worth living, but what do I know...?