The Number Game

So our friends wouldnt be our friends if we didnt feel some kind of positive way about em, right? We keep em around for a reason. Most people that have come into our lives and not found their way completely back out of them have or have had some sort of impact on us, or there wouldnt be much need for them to be there. So if we know this, generally speaking, why do we do shit like play FB games that entail honest declarations - anonymous or not - that we think we should already know?

Well, because hearing the words matters.

Hearing somebody say to you what you may have already known is important because prior to their confirmation, it may have only been what you THOUGHT they thought about you. Confirmation puts you at ease and allows you to proceed faithfully. The other thing is, hearing the words is sometimes game-changing. Maybe someone doesnt feel at all about you the way you thought they did, or maybe the reasons they gravitate to you are much different than what you expected. Either way, I think its good to know. Just dont go asking questions you arent prepared to hear answers to. Thats gonna fuck up your day LOL.

But anyway, what prompted me to write this post was this number game that was going around on FB. At first I didnt understand what was going on, but after having it explained to me, I decided to participate, and you know, its a lot harder to say out loud to everyone something that it might be so simple to state to one person in private. I think that was the challenge: what are you willing to say to or about [an anonymous] me in front of all these people? When I stopped to think about what I could or couldnt say, I realized that I have several connections that are much different than they appear to be to others. Reading some people's posts about me, I realized I have had a larger impact on them than I ever would have imagined, and that people "see" me, even when I dont think anyone's watching. In struggling to find the words for some, I realized that those people have had an even larger impact on me.

There were some game haters on there, annoyed that people were playing, but its FB. There is always a game of some sort going on - just play or dont. It aint algebra. But I think despite all the fuckery that abounds in most cases of FB gaming, this was one that had some value. It reminded the luckiest of us how lucky we are. It repaired some friendships. It opened up paths of communication. It forgave. It cleared up misunderstandings and it got people talking when they werent willing to before. It made a way for people to do and say things their pride, fear or uncertainty kept them from doing or saying before. A FB game aint gonna change the world, and obviously a good chunk of people got nothing more from it than a future baby daddy or restraining order LOL, but I saw some people grow up last night. I, myself, had some offline conversations prompted by Number Game revelations and discovered some things I never knew, disclosed some things I never had, and even got on the path to re-cementing a friendship that had long been suffering. So yeah, Im a fan of the number game.

But the purses and bras, yall can have that shit.