New Year's Reso-YOU-tions

I said on my FB that I wasnt making any resolutions. Im making reso-YOU-tions; a list of shit YALL need to stop doing LOL. Now I know I'm a work in progress, but I dont need a new year to motivate me to make changes in my own life. When it comes to the things that really irk me, I've come to the conclusion that it aint me. Its other people's bullshit LOL. So I'm gonna tell yall some of the things muthafuckas need to chill out with. I aint saying no names, but if it looks familiar, just knock it off!

- Stop calling me when you're bored. You aint got shit to talk about, so all you gonna do is make me bored right wit you. Get your bored ass up and go do something. Call me AFTER and tell me about it LOL.

- Stop smoking and drinking.....other people's shit LOL. If you cant afford your own pack of whatever, or at least some loosies, you too broke for the luxury of a bad habit LOL. Bring something with you sometimes when you get invited somewhere (or especially if you invite yourself). People gotta ration that bottle of Bacardi. How its gon last til pay day if your moochin' ass lips is sucking it all down? That person aint figure you into their liquor and tobacco budget. I cant stand to see a grown ass man bumming a cigarette offa people he dont even know. I bet you probably got a flip phone too. Get your life together!

- Get offa Facebook asking if somebody cooked and could you get a plate. Aint nobody tryna feed you. If you cant cook, or are too lazy to do so, there's always a drive-thru. But then you probably need somebody to come pick you up and take you there too, huh?

- "Its Complicated" is not a relationship status. Its New Year's Eve. Look to your left. Now look to your right. Is he/she beside you? Anywhere in the room? In the building at all? No? Then guess what - you, my friend, are single. It's really not that complicated.

- The stanky leg. Its over. Stop it.

- Self-taken pics on the bathroom sink, with your booty tooted up are not hot. They never were, but why you're still doing it in 2010, is beyond me.

OMG, theres so many more, but we gon let this be continued tomorrow in the actual new year, cause I got a suite fulla folks, lookin at me like Im rude, because I had to get some shit off my chest LOL. Let me go get drunk with the rest of the heathens and bring my birthday in like Im supposed to. Yall be easy.... and safe!