Is That You, Lord?

So we're standing outside the Nuyorican Cafe last night. It was seasonably mild, but it's the end of December, so "seasonably mild" still translates into "cold as fuck" after an hour in a not-moving line some damn where, after walking a million "where the fuck are we" blocks, trying to get there. I was pretty quiet while we waited - mostly because the people behind us were doing enough talking for all of us and I crammed to understand why some people had a baby outside the venue at that time of night, playing and passing him around like it was summer on the set of "Crooklyn."

I was trying to ignore the numbness in my lower extremities, but the later it got, the more I seriously contemplated retreat, acknowledging that the line had slowly begun to move and that this outing was the main reason for our weekend get-together, but believing we had already missed the portion of the event we had gone to see. Growing colder, tired and cranky, I was about two seconds away from saying "fuck it" when something compelled me to turn and look behind me for the ninetieth time that night. I was about to face front again when I said "wait a minute...." and did a double take back across the street. WTF?

Walking up the block was Jesus. JESUS, I TELL YOU! LOL Im talkin bout a white man, bout six feet tall, with long chestnut hair, a goatee and a white robe and braided sash. No bullshit, just like the picture up top. I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me. Especially when he started to cross the street toward the line we were in. No, Lord, not me! Is it my time? Im not ready! was all I could think LOL. I had to nudge my girl to the right of me to make sure she saw what I saw, in hopes of intervening in what, for a moment, I thought coulda been my homegoing LOL. Sure enough, she saw him too, and I realized my other girl had also. By then, the camera phones were out and snapping, but I couldnt even bring myself to whip mine out, relieved that the apparition was merely a look-alike, now nestled in the line behind us. I figured I was safe. Jesus wouldnt be waiting to get in LOL.

The whole incident lasted about five minutes, but it changed the tone of the outing almost instantaneously. Now we were laughing and talking and almost at the door. We finally got in and the last torturous hour and a half of my life all but melted away. The place was small and wall-to-wall packed, forcing us to sit in a corner behind the DJ booth, but I was happy to be there. At one point, as the emcee introduced the next poet to the stage, she told the crowd she needed to run off stage in a certain direction and asked that they make a path. Lo and behold, who is standing in the front of the crowd at that particular time? You got it - Janky Jesus - and with a wave of his hand, he parted the crowd like the red sea LOL. It was awesome! LOL Jokes galore after that LOL.

The slam poets were pretty awesome too, for the most part, although I would have chosen a different winner than the judges did, but hey.... they didnt ask me LOL. Between lagging trains and GPS deficient cab drivers, it probably took us almost two hours to get home, but I would call last night a success. Item one on my NYC bucket list checked off, and I'll definitely do it again...... in the summer.... slightly tipsy LOL.