The Next Thing Smokin'

I know: da hell is that? LOL

That, people, is hopefully the best $9.95 I will ever spend (with the ped egg still being the best $9.99, Im just sayin LOL)

I had so much stuff on my mind this morning, I couldnt concentrate enough to work on my paper. My boyfriend called and I was happier than ever to have something else to think about for a little bit besides money and bills and everything else lately that's been trying to drive me to an early grave. After we hung up, I looked at the pile of laundry in the corner of my room that I still needed to do, the bathroom I still needed to clean and the living room that now needed to be salvaged after the house full of kids I had last night tore through it, and I decided to walk to the store, just to get some air and clear my head a little bit before I came back and dealt with it.

I grabbed my Ipod and opened it to the song list, saying I'd scroll it one time, real hard, and start with whichever song it landed on. DeWayne Woods, "Let Go [Let God]" - okay. I can do that.

I was arriving at the store when the song ended and Tommy, the store owner, always talks to me when Im in there, so I turned my Ipod off and picked up the chips and m&m's the midgets wanted, the cranberry juice and Canada Dry I was getting for myself and the pack of apple blacks I said I wasnt going to buy any more of. He meets me at the register and on the counter is a huge posterboard advertising the electronic cigarette.

"You got this?" I asked, knowing the sign wasnt there before today.

"Yeah. Wanna see?"

I nodded.

He pulls one off the rack behind him and hands me the single, two-pieced contraption. The shorter end, I guessed, was the filter, which you screw into the longer piece. I always wanted to check one out, but I was concerned about the fact that it says it tastes like a cigarette. I hate cigarettes, and contrary to non-smokers' beliefs, cigars taste nothing like them. I wasnt sure it would work for me, and I expressed that to Tommy.

With a rarely-seen serious demeanor, he said, "Its worth a try, right? You aint worth $9.95?"

He said a few other things, but I was concentrating on keeping my eyes from watering, so I cant tell you exactly what. I just know it had to do with him wanting me to live a long time and hoping I was serious in saying that would be my last pack of blacks. He threw in a lighter to replace a wack one he sold me last week and told me he hoped that would be my last lighter too, which sparked a conversation about me being able to braid and his sister needing her hair braided and how much would I charge her, etc, etc. Random, I know LOL.

Anyway, I left the store feeling some kinda way and hit the back arrow on my Ipod to play DeWayne Woods again, this time intending to really listen to the lyrics, which I seriously needed to internalize at that moment. I really dont remember the walk home. I just remember feeling like I was at a crossroad or...... something.

This morning I had all but abandoned the "one week after I start work" objective, convinced that there was no way I could handle that right now. Then I went to the store and spent ten dollars on my "way" - one I wasnt really looking for. So maybe its time I take the hint. Even more so, time to take some control over something I actually have power over, in the midst of so many other things that I dont.

I sat on my bed and screwed the thing together to try it out, with my baby watching intently.

"Ooh it lights up blue at the end, Mom! Do it again!" Kids are so easily amused LOL.

It's menthol taste is really more like spearmint - thats a good thing - and something in the mechanism creates a kind of choking vapor draw when you pull on it, so it actually does feel like you are really smoking, right down to the water vapor you exhale afterwards that looks like real smoke. It's a lot heavier than my cigars are, so I will have to get used to that, but I think this could actually work. Go figure. The question is, will it keep me from killing people the way my cigars do? LOL That is yet to be seen, but Im definitely willing to give it a go.

I put the e-cig down to check an alert on my phone and found it ironic how it was sitting on top of my Psych book. "The Journey of Adulthood." I'll be damned if mine aint a HELL of a journey.....hence the pic.

As for everything else outta whack in my world, Im speaking victory over it, and letting go of the wheel so God can work it out. Those who know the words of prayer, please keep me in them.

That is all.