Reel It In, Dig, Reel It In

Im feeling very unfocused today. I wanna blog. I wanna write a love song. I wanna do something that will harness all this energy I seem to have gotten out of nowhere and make it into some kind of productive force. But its just not working. I haven’t been able to maintain my attention on any one thing I have tried to do all morning. I joked with one of my friends today that she has ADHD, but I seriously feel like I have it right about now. I was, at one point, three paragraphs into an email and just up and decided I didn’t wanna write it anymore and deleted it LOL. IDK WTF is going on today.

I have had two cups of coffee, but that’s no different than any other day. That swig and a half of five-hour energy that I tried was like two days ago, so if its that, results is delayed like a muthafucka LOL.
I really don’t know where all t his energy came from but its got me borderline restless and I HATE feeling like that, especially without reason. I did go to bed a little earlier than usual the last couple nights. I guess it could have something to do with that. It was sudden though. I felt normal, waking up this morning, getting ready for work, and even on the commute. I didn’t start feeling wired until about an hour after I got here. Hmmpf. Oh well. Nothing I can do but try to find something to do with it.

I do have good news – the midgets had awesome report cards. They didn’t go to school on the last [half]day because they were upstate, so I had to go pick the report cards up yesterday. One’s got six A’s, 3 B’s and 2 C’s, and the other has 11 A’s and 3 B’s. Proud mama, right here, folks! Im bringing them down to the job this afternoon so they can finally see the building they keep hearing about. After that, we’re gonna walk around to some of the local shops, then finish our city evening with dinner at the restaurant of their choice – like I don’t know what that’s gonna be LOL.

The rest of the weekend – after we do our grocery shopping tomorrow – will likely be spent cleaning. My room should have yellow tape around it. Its ridiculous. Its always like that when I’ve been traveling like a crazy person – home just long enough to swap out the clothes in my bag, bring the mail in, and take the garbage out, and sometimes those last two things don’t make the cut, but dammit, it can wait til I get back, LOL. So Operation Clean This Shit Up will be in full effect.

Im also gonna take a little time and do some real searching. I’ve perused Monster, rather nonchalantly and with little intent, but before I throw that last 1.6% on the 98.4 of me moving to the DMV area, I really oughta give a legitimate look to the alternative. What I did see in my penny ante browsing really didn’t instill much confidence in finding something I was suited for that would pay what I need it to, but if you’re gonna weigh all the options, you gotta give em all a fair shake. The summer is already winding down, school will be starting in a matter of weeks, and I don’t have the luxury of time. I was pretty much resigned to the idea of just moving, but this morning, I was compelled to take another look. Something just said look again. IDK where it came from, but what could it hurt. I admit, I love where I am and I really don’t wanna go, but it will be what it will be, and wherever I end up, I got my trusty compass to always help me find my way back home…… I remember when I first said that. I couldn’t even be sure where home was. Now I’m starting to realize that, for me, home isn’t a place. Home is a state of mind – that level feeling….. contentment….. peace….. where everything is just as it should be. That’s home.

So I guess I ought to go find something to eat, then come back in here and try to get focused, so I can work on my mock presentation for this afternoon. Somewhere in the thick of the last half hour, I started to physically calm. I don’t feel all wired anymore. However, what was all rambunctious energy is now a cyclone of unfocused thoughts. Eh. I guess I at least know how to handle those…..

#silverlining