The Dish

They say happiness makes you fat and stress causes weight loss. If that's true, you might expect me to be a size six by Christmas.

I wasnt going to blog about this, because I really dont want a bunch of random texts and phone calls, asking me a million questions, but blogging it is probably the best way to circumvent all that, so let's run it down:

As you know, I took this job, that relocated me, on a contract basis, under the premise that I would, in time, be converted to full time. In the duration, I was told that I needed to relocate, yet again, this time to DC. I was in the process of making those arrangements, when I was notified on Wednesday afternoon that due to the terrible numbers our group has put up, headcount would need to be reduced. As a contract employee, my head would be on the chopping block.

My boss seemed genuinely hurt to have to tell me that my contract would be ending at the end of the month, but my lack of emotion wasnt for his benefit. I honestly didnt feel anything at the time. I had seen the writing on the wall a few weeks ago, and my only mistake was not scaling back on my spending like I had intended. Most of the money spent was necessary, but admittedly, I should still be holding. Unfortunately, that isnt the case, so Im resigned to amish living for the next two weeks, being sure not to spend a single unnecessary dime, in light of my impending unemployment.

I've started my search and I've gotten at least one promising bite so far, though its doing something I've been trying to get away from - outside sales. I'd have to really hustle to make the money I'm making now, but I might just have to do it, at least temporarily, if something better doesnt come up first. I hope something better does. Im getting too old for that outside sales shit.

The midgets dont know yet - I have only told them that we wouldnt be moving, like we thought. Thankfully, they havent asked why. I dont feel worry should be a child's lot. But it wont be mine either. I have complete faith that the Lord will create a path out of this situation and guide my feet upon it. Its my only solace at the moment, but in faith, it's enough.

My family doesnt know, and neither did most of my friends, prior to this post. I know the second my mother finds out, she's going to be as unhelpful as humanly possible, trying to convince me to just move back upstate, like that's gonna solve anything. That would just put me back in the position I was in in the first place. Working too hard for too little money, hating winter and anyone under the age of eighteen who I dont share a bloodline with, and most people over twenty-five, whether I share a bloodline with them or not. Of course, it wouldnt be the end of the world if I had to - I have a host of friends and loved ones I'd be glad to have around again - but I wanted a fresh start, and I was blessed enough to get one. I'm not going to piss it away just because my first gig here pulled out. I'd have made a way if this had happened upstate, and I'll make a way now.

That being said, I'm still loving life, living love, and optimistic about the future. That doesnt mean I wont experience some random moments of panic or uncertainty, but I still believe that everything happens for a reason, and I'm not giving up just yet. Your prayers, as always, would be greatly appreciated.