Trauma

It was four years ago today.

I remember standing in the grass, outside my job, holding the phone to my ear, but only hearing every other sentence, as my mind bled in and out of focus. I was in such shock, my thoughts seemed like they were in a blender – just spinning around inside my head and making a lot of noise. It was a nice day. No. It was a BEAUTIFUL day. 82 degrees and sunny, with a breeze. I remembered seeing that on the sign outside the bank at lunch time. I wore a long, flowy skirt that day. I cant see what it looks like in my mind, but I know it was long and flowy because I can feel the wind blowing it against my legs, as I walk across the parking lot. My sandals had a wedge heel. I remember sliding my foot in and out of it against the curb, and then standing with one bare foot on the grass. The coolness of it brought me back from my fog. I hung up the phone and stood there, with my hair blowing in the breeze, occasionally getting stuck in my lip gloss. I must have stood there, in that one spot, fifteen minutes at least, just staring out at the buildings across from me and watching cars drive around the bend that led into and out of the business park. Then I went back inside, told my boss I needed to leave, and went home. It was a Thursday. I stayed home the next day.

Funny....... some days I cant remember what I had for breakfast.