Letter To a Stranger

Dear stranger-

I was raised not to speak to you, but nobody ever said I couldnt write a sternly worded letter LOL.

Lady in the terminal, please explain to me why you felt it necessary to be walking SO CLOSE behind me the other day? Exactly how close do you have to be riding someone’s heels to step on them and take their sneaker clean off their foot? Simply unacceptable.

Matter of fact, this is a letter to morning commuters in general: WTF is your problem? LOL what are you, june bugs? Are you all flying around blind through the subway and streets of New York? You’re like a bunch of zombies or robots with shorted fuses or something. Even when you are watching where you’re going (which is hardly ever) you will see that you are about to walk right into me, but for some reason, your sense of “oh shit, Im bout to run into her” does not kick in LOL. One of these mornings, Ima peel back and clothesline one of you summamabitches!

Lastly, to the mysterious recruit who decided to disappear from base for three days, I would just like you to know that I spent 7 hours on a sweltering bus yesterday to get upstate, where I would drop my kids off with my mother and subsequently board a flight to Chicago, with plans to spend the weekend with the most amazing man that I have had the pleasure of being in a relationship with in quite some time. Please be aware that if he ends up not being able to leave work this morning so that we can embark on the wonderful day that we have planned in the city, due to your antics, he is going to ensure that the remainder of your stay in the training program is hell, and I, for one, will not lose a bit of sleep.

Consider yourself briefed.

Dig