Match.Comeonson!

I don’t understand the men on online dating communities…

First of all, how you gonna have a profile with no picture, and a greeting that demands that I have one? You’re on the no-fly list from the get-go. You already showing that you feel it should be a different set of rules for me than it is for you. GTFOHWTBS, LOL. And then you wanna tell me “I can email you pics if you want.”

*squint*

So why wouldn’t you just put them on your profile? Aint like you work for the government LOL.

Secondly, who randomly IM chats people they haven’t even said hello to? I don’t know you, dude. This aint the bar. You cant just come up and start talking to people all willy nilly. You get the gasface too, cause you’ll be the dude I’d have to break on for showing up to my house all uninvited. No, thank you, sir. Im good.

Then you get these geniuses that think you’re supposed to give them your number because they don’t like to type.

*raised eyebrow*

Son. ITS AN ONLINE COMMUNITY. You aint see the sign on the door? LOL Im supposed to have you blowing the battery outta my phone because you wanna be lazy? Miss me with that too.

Then you get the ones on the opposite end of the spectrum, that want to tell you their whole life story in the first note. You don’t even know if Im gonna respond to your message. Don’t go through the trouble, conjugating all them verbs and shit LOL. You might have just wasted the last twenty minutes of your life, backspacing all through them paragraphs, trying to be more eloquent.

And what’s with the people that “favorite” your page or view it 913 times and never say anything to you? Stalk much?

And please, PLEASE, tell me WTF is up with the dudes wanting you to respond back with your weight or measurements. Are you gonna buy me a dress? LOL if not, you better look at the damn pics like everybody else and call it a damn day. How rude.

This is why I cant do Match.com, or any other site thats explicitly for dating. My philosophy is that you be friends with a person first anyway and just see where things go – if anywhere – so later for the dating sites. At least on Myspace and Facebook there isn’t any type of pretense or expectation in having a conversation, and you don’t have to worry about somebody thinking you wanna have their babies just because you replied to their hello. You might have to deal with a lotta this same bullshit, but at least it aint costing you $44.95.

Im just sayin.