Shine On: Chevy

LMAO! So this is something my homey "Chevy G Hustle" wrote like three or four years ago for our old "watering hole". Me (affectionately referred to as "Number 9" around the way LOL) and the cronies were laughing, reminiscing about it today, so (after obtaining clearance, of course LOL) I decided to share. Whether you agree or disagree, the shit is still hysterical LOL.



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After some hard work and technical EXCELLENCE on my part...here we go

*please let this be the one LOL*

There Are 10 Types of Women

I was sitting up last night....nah I take that back. I was playing 'golf' on the green last night and tried to break the type of women there are. And besides, my lil cousin just lost his virginity last night. So now he's been corrupted and he's gonna want to fuck different broads all the time. So I wrote him a 'pamplet' describing the advantages and disadvantages of these 10 different types of women.
Help me out with some more types and advantages/disadvantages of fucking with these women.


10 WOMEN WE ALL KNOW (And don't act like you don't)

1. GOLD DIGGER

Advantages

A. Always fine as hell
B. Will give up the booty when you're spending cash
C. Get on her good side and she'll use other dudes money to buy stuff for you

Disadvantages

A. Will ONLY give up the booty when you're spending cash
B. Has a million male friends in the "league"
C. Will dump your ass for the nigga in the 07 S550

2. CHICKENHEAD aka DIRTY-FOOT aka HOODRAT

Advantages

A. Down for "what-ever" (will let you get her on tape)
B. Booty-call material
C. Has your back in most situations and will bust-a-cap if needed

Disadvantages

A. Will bust a cap in YO ass, if need be
B. Ghetto as hell
C. Comes with MAD drama

3. MS "MY CLOCK IS TICKING"

Advantages

A. Will give up the booty as long as you seem ready for a relationship
B. Will go above and beyond the duty to please you (sex, food, money)

Disadvantages

A. Wants to be married yesterday
B. Wants to be a mother yesterday
C. Her whole family has pegged you as the one

4. THE VIRGIN

Advantages

A. NOBODY has ever tapped that ass
B. Now shes all yours

Disadvantages

A. You gotta teach her damn near everything
B. Insecure about the 300+ women you were with before her..
C. Gonna be really tight the first few times
D. Will never let you live it down if you try to leave after being the first

5. SPOILED BITCH

Advantages

A. Got a lot of shit already, cause she spoiled
B. Might not ask you for too much because daddy pays all her bills
C. Takes you out to eat, to the mall, and on trips

Disadvantages

A. Expects to get her way all the time (She's a Spoiled Bitch!)
B. Thinks that the Sun doesn't rise until she wakes up
C. Very insecure and unpredictable
D. Big ass crybaby

6. EX-GIRLFRIEND

Advantages

A. You can always hit it if you throw her a few lines that make it seem you two may be getting back together
B. Looks fine as hell when you want her
C. Somebody else's Girlfriend problem.

Disadvantages

A. Gets fat after you get her back
B. Insecure of other women
C. Your Girlfriend problem again

7. YOUR BABY MOMMA

Advantages

A. See advantages for ex-girlfriend

Disadvantages

A. See disadvantages for ex-girlfriend
B. She`s hitting you up for child support

8. SOMEONE ELSE`S BABY MOMMA

Advantages

A. Will give up the booty as long as you seem like a prospect to the job
B. Will do almost anything to get some help with her kid(s)
C. Already got enough drama going on. Nothing left for you but late booty calls and great sex when the kids sleep

Disadvantages

A. Her babies and their daddies
B. Might get pregnant for you too, thinking that you might stay if she
has your child
C. Her Baby Daddy better not catch you over there

9. MS. "FRIEND"

Advantages

A. Understands you
B. Easy to talk to
C. Gives you the inside track on what the hell women be thinking sometimes..

Disadvantages

A. Acts like she might give you the ass, but never does
B. Uses your advice to get the dude she really wants
C. Quits talking to you when her new boyfriend feels threatened

10. MS. "COOL AS HELL"

Advantages

A. Loves sports and video games
B. Loves hardcore rap music
C. Drinks and smokes blunts
D. Would do anything for you

Disadvantages

A. Likes women more than she likes men..
B. Could probably beat your ass
C. Isn't gonna give you any booty, but will call you a fag if you don't try

IN ORDER TO DEAL WITH ANY OF THE ABOVE WOMEN YOU WILL NEED ONE OF THESE.................

11. MS. "LUV YOUR DIRTY DRAWS" (shout out to the homie J. Rush for this one...he lurks on this site from time to time.)

Advantages

A. Knows you have a girlfriend
B. Still gives you the booty
C. Requires little to no attention
D. Will always be there for you no matter what
E. Is secretly in love with you, but knows if she asks you for a relationship, the answer is NO!