Doctor's Orders: Cheating

Oooh, yall quick! But LOL @ the basic nature of the question LMAO! Yall goin easy on me for the first couple times huh? LOL All good, I can dig it. Lets get into it...


Dear Doc,

Im pretty sure my friend's boyfriend is cheating on her, but I dont know if I should tell her. What do you think?

-IDK


Dear IDK,

This is a tough one for me to answer because there are so many factors to each situation that might change my position. You didnt really give any specifics, so here's my general response: if you are going to tell her, you better have irrefutable proof. Not just for her benefit, but for yours. Its important that you, yourself, are sure because the guy is likely to deny it. Hopefully your friendship is strong enough that she wont question your motives and realizes you are only looking out for her.

Dig


That being said, I feel like I need to qualify my answer LOL. Generally speaking, I believe that things done in the dark, always come to the light - eventually. In most cases - especially if you cant prove the allegation - I think it best to not say anything and just let (or help LOL) the friend find out for themselves. But if you just feel compelled to dish, there are a few things you need to consider:

1. Are you relatively confident that your friend would leave her cheating man? If you dont think she will, stay out of it. Its just a whole heap of headache, waiting to happen.

2. What do you mean when you say "cheating?" Is he just an all out manwhore, pushing up on every Sue, Pam and Sally who'll let him, or is he seeing another woman in particular? It matters because if he's a manwhore, she probably already knows, or at least suspects, and telling her wont change anything.

3. Are you good friends? Dont meddle in the business of simple associates. You have no skin in the game and drama is bound to ensue. A good friend will likely not only believe you, but not allow the guy to drive a wedge between you.

4. Does he know you know? This is one of the only scenarios where I say tell her and tell her FAST. If you allow him time to think up an explanation, or worse yet, a way to turn it around on you, all hell is going to break loose. The best situation to be up against is one where the two of you are racing to her front door, trying to get to her first. He'll always look like an idiot LOL.

5. Its important that you be willing to accept the results (or lack thereof) of your revelation. Once you break the news (and hopefully gently LOL) back off. Allow her to react and dont try to drive her decision with your own feelings about the situation. If your girl decides to stay, you have to be willing to swallow that because it is her life and you cant want more for somebody than they want for themselves. You will have to let it go. Continuing to harp on it will only strain your friendship.

I think its important that you know your friends. Dont yall have girls nights? Dont yall.... TALK? LOL Has this conversation never come up before? ASK your friends if they would want to know. Surprisingly enough, not everyone does. Do you?

Note to MY friends: Fuck that. Tell me.