Chaos

Have you ever stopped to think about the people you’ve stopped talking to and wonder how you would react if something bad happened to them? I’ve had occasion for this to cross my mind before, but when it came about today, it was because something bad had already happened. Nobody died, but they could have, and the magnitude of their transgression against me is such that I had, for a long time, thought unforgivable. I still struggle with total absolution, but the near-hatred has dissipated, and the event that was brought to my attention put me in a mental space more cloudy and chaotic than I have occupied in quite a while.

Do I feel an obligation to make a move? No. However I do feel an opportunity to have some questions answered is upon me and as time ticks away, the portal to those answers slowly narrows. Do I really need to know? Do I really want to know? I still cant say. But cycles are called cycles for a reason and they can only be broken by someone, somewhere, taking a step forward in a direction opposite of which inclined. Pride aside, it might be time. I don’t feel ready, but... it might be time.