Prose Unintended

Something scared me today.

It wasn't a "Boo!" scare but a slowly creeping quake that got bigger and bigger until it settled into my bones and I didn't find myself shaking until ten minutes later.

I didn't find myself crying until the moment I tried to articulate to another relevant party what it was that had scared me and I heard the words out loud, which seemed to all at once breathe life into what had previously only been a thought.

Nothing makes me more uncomfortable than not knowing what to do but knowing what NOT to do is nothing.

An hour after a desperate call that Im still not sure I should have yet made, the only thing I can think to do is turn my focus away from what I cant "unsee", giving it to God and turning my focus on me.

I only came in here to open a window to throw my pissed in pot out of.... release this nervous energy that has me pacing around my own house as if I don't live here.... and it turned into this.