5: Dang, My Bad

Fully intended to do this blog yesterday but just when I was getting ready to come in here and bang it out, I get a message from somebody I probably should have fucken ignored, but you know me and my bullshit. More accurately, you know the universe and IT'S bullshit, and of course it's Valentine's Day so you know the cosmos weren't just gonna let me live....SMH

Long story short, 3 or 4 exchanges led to a phone conversation, what the fuck for, I don't really know. This is a guy I was briefly talking to about two years ago. We stopped talking because, among other things, he was spoiled and had a tendency to throw tantrums when he didn't get his way. Ain't nobody got time for that. It seemed he wanted to talk about what happened, but we had talked about it already, sometime last year, so I didn't see the point. He did give a little bit more insight as to his mindset at the time, I guess, but I haven't cared in two years LOL. Come to find out, he's planning on being back in New York tomorrow, for court, and he wants to get up before he goes back to Virginia. Knew it had to be something.

Upside with this guy is that he's fun to be with and he damn sure is easy on the eyes, but I haven't decided that's enough to get me on the other side of the table. If it were just about a friendly outing, okay, but I KNOW he gonna be on the bullshit. I know it. Then again, I do have to give yall asses 35 more blogs, I'm gonna need some material LOL.

Eh. I'll have to think about this one.....

Day 4: Polar, Bipolar, WTF?

I don't really know what the fuck a polar vortex is but it seems to me to be the term for Mother Nature's bipolar disorder flaring up. I don't know if her and Father Time had a falling out, she caught him fuckin other bitches or what, but her ass mad as hell and she is taking it out on mankind. Ima need her to come through and cop a squat on the couch so she can talk out her pain because this is fucken ridiculous. Damn near 70 degrees on Christmas and now she wanna stunt on the groundhog like "oh so you think YOU run this? Spring comes when I say it comes, muthafucka! Polar vortex - NOW!"

Bitch.

I wouldn't even care if I didn't have to be out in the shit. Between Sam's Club, Walmart and then Buffalo Wild Wings, where the heat seemed to be on everywhere except our table, I been mad all gotdamn day. You know I'm mad cause it's the only time I curse this much LOL. I bet my ass don't leave this house again until Tuesday. I bet that. I done bought half of Secaucus today, we aint got no business running outta SHIT and if by chance we do, oh well, if it wasn't so damn cold, I wouldn't have forgotten it. These kids better ask Mother Nature to take this icy ass wind and blow whatever they need to our front door! Shit.

Day 3: Killin the Game.... Again

So things at the new job have been coming along nicely. I still have moments of frustration because I'm dealing with an industry that I knew NOTHING about before I got there, but I'm a G. I will fail the fuck outta something 27 times before I say I cant do it and 99% of the time, it pays off in the end. I started this week looking like it was gonna be a rough month, but I kept going and yesterday alone, I did $47,000 worth of business. There's something to be said for perseverance, people. Whatever it is, keep at it and you might surprise yourself.

On that note, I should also mention that I interviewed at this company two times prior to this third process. I almost didn't come in for this last opportunity because the previous times didn't work out but I knew this role was a better fit than the previous two and I was determined to make something happen this time around. I believed it so much that my boss couldn't help but believe in me too, so when his boss wasn't convinced, he went to bat for me, and now we're both in a B-Boy stance on a February Friday like "I'm sorry, Adam, what were you saying?" LOL

Cant say it enough; don't give up. Believe in your abilities and other people will believe in them too. Celebratory cran-cardi on deck. Ready for this 3-day weekend like oh nah, nah, nah LOL #beast

One down, like 87 to go.... lol

Just fulfilled the first of the many drink promises I made to coworkers at my last job. Met up with one of my closest office friends (who also happens to be married to the office boss) and had a great time catching up. She's one of the people I really miss working with so it was nice to spend some time with her and I think she misses having someone she can talk to about things her husband might not understand from his position in the company. I could tell when she was venting that it was a huge release. It was the first time we could really speak openly too - being married to the boss put her in a tough spot because there were things she may have been privy to that she wasn't supposed to talk about. Now she can tell me everything she knows without compromising anything. Yeah, I still talk to other people who still work there, but she knows I won't repeat anything she tells me in confidence. There were a lot of things she found out for the first time tonight too. Friend or not, she was the boss's wife, and there was only so much I could really share with her too before. It's amazing how many things you change perspective on when you can finally get the whole story.

"The whole story" is something we rarely get though. Pretty sure I'll never get it in the case of Mr. "Not ready to date" smh. Oh well. Fuck'm.

Not Ready To Date

What do you do when you come across somebody who is just what you need and want in your life but you're not ready to date? Well.... I guess I'm about to find out.

I've been talking to this guy for.... mmm... about a month, I guess. We decided it would be prudent to go ahead and knock that first date out to see if we still felt like this was a path we wanted to continue on, and we went out Friday. GREAT time. Went to dinner and spent the next six hours in his truck listening to 90's R&B. WHO sits in a truck for six hours doing ANYTHING? That tells you something, right? I would think so, but a few days later, we haven't really talked, didn't assess the date, didn't really touch base at all really, then suddenly, there was just radio silence. I'm like WTF because Friday was EVERYTHING. Finally today, he sends me a text that he is dealing with some personal stuff and he thought he was ready to date but he isn't.

Hmmm.....

A seasoned pimp like me knows this could be bull but also knows "not ready to date" is real, for some. I've been in that place myself a time or two. When you come across someone so great and you're in this place, its like...... dammit man! And I think we both are feeling that right now. But at the end of the day, I'm ready to date. I'm sorry he isn't, but I'm not about to sit around and wait for him to be. Granted, when he does get ready, if I'm available, we can revisit, but I'm not about to let life pass me by while he gets his life together. Sorry, not sorry. Throw in the fact that initially he thought just falling off the grid was an acceptable thing to do - um.... excuse me? Man the fuck up and have a conversation with me about it. I'm reasonable, I know life can be inconvenient as hell. What I'm not gonna do is run after you for answers. Be a man and tell me you're going through something. If you knew me better, you would know that this is the kind of thing I'm used to and I wouldn't judge, but because you don't know me so well yet, you're worried that I won't understand or I might take you through the wringer, trying to change your mind.

Son.

Ima need you to know I'm already making weekend plans. Google me.

I like this guy so I'm highly annoyed but I know this is what you gotta deal with dating today. And I respect a person's need to take a second. But don't take it on my time. This story is still being written, I guess, until I know what the hell is going on, but I'm not hopeful there will be much else to write about.

That said, I might not even be in here talking about this except I've taken an oath for Lent to blog for 40 days straight. I don't know if the next 40 days of my life will be all that interesting, but I've committed to it, so bear with me on the days I just went to work and came home to drinking myself to sleep LOL. Just saying. I keep it 112 so everything can be peaches and cream.....

........see what I did there? LOL

Oh no....

Today has been a trying one, to say the least. On top of everything else that didn’t go quite right, I managed to lose my keys. I NEVER lose my keys. I can’t even concentrate now. it’s like leaving home without your cell phone, or without a belt. Once I put my keys in my pocket, I never see or think about them again until I get home and pull them out to unlock the doors, but knowing now that they’re NOT in my pocket is like…. Im out here with no safety net lol. no bottle opener, no compass, no shopper’s club key tags… and every time I hear somebody in this office jiggle their keys, I look up as if they had found mine and were wondering whose they are lol. I literally cannot focus right now.

This is some bullshit.




**Update**

Apparently I left them home on the counter where I keep them. HUGE weight lifted off my chest but now I'm confused as to how I managed to do that. Whatever. Crisis averted.

I'll be drinking before my coat comes off.... smh

Trusting the Process

Started my new job a week ago today and all I can say is "Thank God, I made it!" For the first 3 days, I literally thought my boss was insane. By Friday morning, I was convinced of it LOL. I mean, the things this man was tasking me to do not even a week into it just seemed... unreasonable, and having just a few hours to complete most of them was even more crazy. Granted, I rose to the challenge, but I did so thinking the whole time that it was too much to expect of somebody brand new to the game and I wondered if I had gotten myself in over my head. Just when I thought I might have made a huge mistake, it all became clear.

It happened after I blundered my way through a spot presentation of all the things I had picked up during the week. I felt unprepared, nervous, inadequate... but I did what I was asked, fielding trip-up questions along the way and just wanting so badly for it to be over. The feedback was tremendous. My boss apologized that I was, at times, visibly overwhelmed but appreciated the fact that I stuck with it. He was fully aware that what he was asking of me was a lot but he was looking for me to do exactly what I did; push through it and show up like a vet. After all, if I could do and learn all those things, sometimes with just a couple hours notice, what I could do and learn when given time and resources would make me a real asset.

I was really proud of myself when I left the office on Friday. I'm looking forward to a successful journey. But the experience also reminded me of how God works - you might have no understanding why your steps are being ordered in a particular way, but there is always a method to the madness and when you get where you're going, you'll understand. You just have to trust the process. #message