Jaded

Another something I wrote that I just came across. Happens to be one of my faves.

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They asked me if there were any good men left in this city
And all I could think about was the man in the corner of the room
Light-skinned silence in a cashmere declaration of “Damn, he fine.”
And though he wasn’t mine I let my mind take me there
To that place where the first phone calls are long since past
And the only question left is if we can make this last
Like Keith Sweat, or better yet, that roll of laundry day quarters, if ya feel me.
But the more I looked, the more I saw the fantasy melt away
I arrived at that place where the cell phone would ring at all times of the night
And he’d be sliding outta bed to take her call uninterrupted
Running the water in the bathroom sink, thinking he slick like I cant still hear him
Sashaying through the door two hours late for a dinner I didn’t bother to keep warm
Then the more I thought and the more I dreamed away the years
I came to that place where accusations would fly right along with the good dishes
Where my better half now brings out the worst in me
And I’d rather work late than be home trying to explain
The concept of guilt breeding suspicion while he had his mind made up
Right along with the bed he just got out of
And meanwhile having had the opportunity to bring down the house on several occasions
But realizing that would leave no place for my greener grass to grow
I always passed.
Couldn’t tell him nothing though
Because of course, he just think he knows everything.
And I’d think about the fallacy of that road less traveled
How I turned from temptation and shit still came unraveled
Us being at odds making me want to get even
Oblivious to the idea of simply just leaving
So before you know it those old rainchecks get redeemed
And Im now just as big a bastard as you.
Sad how that works.
And even sadder is the fact that neither one of us even remember how we got here
But we know its not what we signed on for
And years of lust to love to distrust to hate just dissipate
Into two-letter prefixes that indicate a relationship past
Because we couldn’t make it last like Keith Sweat
And that roll of quarters stopped being enough for our dirty laundry
A long time ago
And as I pull myself from the imaginary world of making his fine ass mine
I look across the room and roll my eyes
At a man whose name I don’t even know and no longer care to
Simply because he is a man and after all
That tells me all I need to know…… right?