Decrazifying

Just going through some of my old Myspace stuff and decided to repost this in case anybody's soul is in need of a trip to the laundromat...

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So my friend emails me this morning telling me she thinks she’s going crazy. Actually, what she said was that she feels “so……..blah” but then subsequent responses included all the other components that equal “going crazy” LOL. She has been feeling kind of off balance for a little while now, not really being able to identify what the problem is. All she knows is she doesn’t feel right and she finds it hard to give a damn.

So we get to talking about other random shit and something happens in her world that isnt very significant, but she suddenly felt like crying. I told her she probably needed to.

See, this is how I see it (same thing I told her):

Our spirits are landfills for unstable energy from all the issues not dealt with, needs not filled, everything like that that we brush aside or decide not to deal with). At a certain point, your spirit cant handle any more of it, its too full of the unstable energy and those are the times when you feel like youre about to blow or are going crazy and don’t know why.

The simplest thing can make you feel like you are gonna kill somebody. You say to yourself “I swear to God if one more damn thing happens….” Please know one more thing will happen LOL.

But this is a good thing. Having a nervous breakdown is like pressing the RESET button.

See the problem is that youre trying to get a grip on yourself. If you happen to succeed, its only going to be temporary. In another couple of weeks, you are gonna find yourself in the same boat again. What you wanna do is let that last straw push you over the edge. Just make sure you aint gonna end up in the klink, LOL.

You want something to make you cry for no damn reason at all. When that happens, youre ready.

What youre gonna do is go home and prepare to detox. You will need a setup where there are no interruptions. Don’t turn the TV on, make sure the kids are gone or in the bed, and turn off your phones. Hop in the shower, put on something comfortable and go sit in your living room (and yes, it has to be your living room).

Turn on some music – not the radio, but an IPOD or media playlist or some CD’s you’ve made of music you like. This is important because if you cant put your finger on the problem, songs you like are bound to be the x that marks the spot. Pour yourself a drink, and if you smoke, light up. It is imperative that you clear your mind so that whatever is going to cross it can do so freely. At some point early in the game, you want to pray. Nothing all extravagant, just say a little prayer and call it a day. Even if you don’t say the right thing, God knows what youre after, He’s not stupid. He created the universe, give him a little credit, LOL.

Sit there and look around your living room while the music is playing. For some strange reason, your furniture and the way you have decorated your living room (along with the pictures of family and friends that are likely to be all around) get you thinking about your station in life and whether or not you are happy and where you wanna be. This is often the root of your problems. Keep listening to the music. Sing along. When the dumbest fucken song to ever cry about makes you wanna cry, you’re on your way, LOL.

Take note of the song and what it represents to you, and most importantly, keep crying. Sometimes songs remind us of a certain person or a certain time in our lives. If you can make the connection, then that is probably the biggest issue you need to deal with at that time. Sit back and think about it. Remember what happened. Address it all in your mind, the good and the bad, without trying to make sense of it. Think it through until there is nothing left to dissect. When you are done, you will find that a whole host of issue, past and present, are marching single file through your mind. See them, for they want to be seen.

When its all over, you will be exhausted, and probably drunk, LOL. You will go to bed and wake up in the morning drained – unless your on the accelerated path, in which case you will wake up feeling hella refreshed, throw on your workplace best and think you are the shit all day LOL. Either way, in less than 48 hours time, you will find yourself waking up somewhere between 3 and 5 am, with no desire to move. In most cases, youre awaking from a dream that includes one of the issues that passed through your mind during your detox, but when you open your eyes, whether you really remember the dream or not, you will feel wide awake and completely at peace. Lay there. The voice in your head is real – its God.

Now don’t get all crazy, God’s not gonna be preaching about burning bushes and commandments and what not. What you will hear will sound like your own thoughts. I think this is because God knows that humans are selfish and want to take all the credit for their breakthroughs, LOL.

Anyway, the purpose of this instructional manual is just to help those who may be in need of it. It helped my friend (and her sister, who she forwarded my advice to, LOL) and I think it might help some of you as well. I am off sabbatical, and I do take walk-ins, so if you need a personal consultation, feel free to lean. My couch is always open.