Buyer's remorse

So.............. I sent them back.

I didnt return them because they cost $1,080 and I could have used that money in a more productive fashion. Sure I got bills I could take to a zero balance (which Im now going to do) but I sent them back because over the last couple of days I got text messages, emails and phone calls making such a big deal over them that it made me ponder why I even bought them. Truth be told, I never pined over a pair of Louboutins. Yes, I've seen several pair that made me be like "Ooooh!" but I've seen shoes that were priced at $39.99 that made me feel the same way. When I thought about it, I realized that I was just trying to throw a middle finger up to the bitches at work who do reckless shit like spend $1,080 on a pair of shoes and giggle about the credit card bill when their mommies and daddies ask them what the FUCK they were thinking. I paid CASH for them shits... in my mind. Shit. Came outta my bank account. I felt some kind of way hearing those conversations a few weeks ago and it made me feel like I had something to prove. It was irrational and immature - something rampant at my workplace - and at the end of the day, it wasnt even something I really wanted. I mean I have seen several brands of the same fucken shoe for peanuts. Granted, I dont really do "peanuts" and shoes in the same sentence, but you know what Im saying.

I still fully support spending whatever it costs for that thing tugging at your soul, but these werent that thing. The chicks at work were about these. My friends were about these. My enemies were about these. My MAMA was about these. I wasnt. Would I do it again? Yeah.... if THAT particular shoe moved me just that much, because I deserve to have whatever it is that I want and work hard enough to get. But the next time I drop a G on some shoes, its gonna be because its what I want to do. So while $1,080 will be on record as the most I've ever spent on a pair, for now, $385 will be the most I've ever spent on a pair I've kept. Yeah. I will SPEND on some Italian leather. Please dont get it twisted. But buyer's remorse comes in many flavors and I cant feel good in a pair of kicks that double underline superficial bullshit every time I step out in them. Maybe I am making too much of it, but I know it didnt feel right. And so.... they've gone back. And I feel good about it. I know me though. I will cop another pair... but when I'm in a place where that middle finger isnt cut off to spite my hand...

Check me round June.