Military Men

So I was sitting in the break room today with my usual lunch crew, chit-chatting and cracking jokes, when the only other female on my team asks me about my boyfriend being overseas. “Is he in the military or something?” she asked. “Yep,” I say. With no real intent to discourage my faith in MY relationship, she says something to the effect of “Never date a Navy man. I grew up in Norfolk near the biggest base in the country and anybody down there would say they’re all cheaters” (“all” being relative, of course). Another female came into the room and cosigned the statement, saying she had dated 3 military men and would never do it again, although her position was based mainly off them being crazy – another common stereotype.

A guy who was present said, ”You are so mean! That is an awful thing to say,” obviously feeling bad for me, having just disclosed that mine is, indeed, a Navy man, but I was perfectly fine and I told him as much.

If cornered, I would probably say that I don’t believe my man would cheat on me... I mean, I couldn’t say that definitively of some guy I had just met, but I’ve got history with this guy. Feeling secure in that belief would be warranted, right?

Right?

*staring into the camera*

Man, listen, LOL

Question: What part of “Military Man” makes a man a cheater?

Answer: It’s the “Man” part that makes him a cheater LOL.

Men cheat. It’s a fact of life. So do women. Another fact of life. Is it inevitable? Of course not. Cheating is a CHOICE. But you know what? If my man is going to make that CHOICE, there is nothing I can do to stop it. There isn’t a woman alive who can unequivocally state that her man has never cheated on her (unless he drops dead right after he asks you to be his boo LOL). That’s not how he loves you. The fact that you BELIEVE he’s never cheated is how he loves you. IMO, love, for men, is not about being faithful. Love, for them, is about being loyal. In the best cases, that BREEDS faithfulness, but the two should not be confused.

A cheating man who loves you will keep his dirt discreet and make sure it NEVER gets back to you. You SHOULD be able to feel like “my man would never cheat on me” even if he’s at that bitch’s house riiiiiiiiiight now LOL….. cause you’ll never find out about it and if you do, he’ll deny it to the very end, even to the heffa’s face, and call her AND her mama a liar LOL. THAT’S love, baby! LOL

Of course, Im being facetious, but IMO it really is true, to an extent. Those who will, prepare to be mad right aboooouuuuut………. Now LOL

First and foremost, any man you would CALL a cheater, cheats a LOT, and clearly isn’t very good at it, or else you wouldn’t know about it. Roll.

On the other hand, temptation is hard. A man who resists it for 919 days of your relationship and just couldn’t take it on day 920 shouldn’t be included in that category – IMO.

Does that make it okay? Does he get a pass? Absolutely not. It violates the relationship covenant, and if you ever find out about it you should leave his ass. But if that man really loves you, he is going to make sure you never, EVER find out about it. He should NOT tell you. That’s right, I said it LOL. You know why he shouldn’t tell you? Cause your insecure ass gonna have that in the back of your mind every day for the rest of your life and he will never be able to leave your sight without you thinking he’s doing something LOL. No judgment here – paranoia happens to the best of us – but be honest with yourself. You know its true. This is a situation where ignorance is bliss, and I told my man this too. We talk about everything and this topic came up early in the relationship.

“Clearly, I don’t want you to do it, period, but if you ever did, I don’t ever wanna know.”

I know me. Sure, I could try to understand some special circumstances, stay and try to work it out but for what? I would never trust you again, so the relationship would never be the same. Why waste your time or mine? THAT’S why I’d leave a man who cheated, not because I cant forgive it. God forbid I hear about it from someone other than him. You mean to tell me you stepped out on me AND didn’t have enough respect for me to make sure it wouldn’t find its way into the street? Bad enough you cheated on me, now I gotta be embarrassed too? That’s how you feel? LOL

Now Im not saying he is free to go do whatever he pleases, as long as I don’t find out. I would like to think I have chosen a man with enough character not to be out here showing his ass. I am just acknowledging that we are all just human, and we do things we shouldn’t. But if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound? See what Im sayin?

I know it sounds real “Chrissy from Love and Hip Hop” but she had a point. At least I think so. No, I really don’t feel like my man would cheat on me, but I also know he’s just a man, so I wouldn’t put anything past him, and that would be the case whether he was in the military or not. Every man is faithful up until the point that he isn’t – no brainer – and I would deal with that if and when the time came. MY man, in particular, is fully aware that the consequences of such actions is the door, so should he make that choice, I will have no choice but to assume that’s where he preferred to be – on the other side of it.

Just my thoughts. Carry on.