Fucken Boundaries!

My family got here at about 2am. Its now 4 am and Im annoyed already.

Everything was cool for the first hour. My mama didnt say a whole lot. She had even laid down at one point and I thought she was going to bed, especially since she kept saying over and over again how "we" had to get up at 6 to go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.... mind you, this was at about 2:30. Who the hell she thought was getting up at 6 to go to a parade, IDK, but I digress.

I was half sleep when they got here, so after a half hour of being sociable, I decide Im going back to bed. Im in the bed about 20 minutes when I hear this clicking..... over and over and over again. Its my stove. She is in there, apparently trying to light it, and just letting it click and click and click, seeping gas all up and through the house. So I get up like WTF? She doesnt seem to grasp my concern, but the stove is lit and she is doing whatever she is doing, so I let it go. This is when I notice my turkey is in the sink and there are turkey necks in one of the big pots on the stove.

Now some of yall know this about me and some of yall dont, but if you are among the latter, let me school you: I dont like people fuckin with my shit. If I say Im cooking something, LET ME COOK IT. Dont take it upon yourself to start it, or add to it or anything else, trying to be helpful. ESPECIALLY my greens.

Now A, I told my mother when she first got there that I did not want to cook the turkey overnight. In my opinion (mostly from my experience with her making turkey in the past) it dries the turkey out. The bird only needs about three hours in the oven so there is plenty of time to stick it in there in the morning. Why is my turkey in the sink? My turkey is in the sink because she completely disregarded what I said and decided she was gonna do what she wanted to do anyway.

B, WHY are you boiling my turkey necks? "Its the broth for the greens. The turkey necks need about two hours in the pot, so at least that will be done already and you can just put the greens in later."

*staring into the camera*

Are you fucking serious??? I HOPE I dont even need to tell yall the multiple things that are wrong with that statement - ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? YOU, lady, are the woman who at one family barbecue, called yourself making greens, didnt think you had made enough, and added spinach to them to fill them out. FUCKING SPINACH!!!! You need to be as far away from a cooking pot of greens as humanly possible.

Maybe Im taking this too personally, but Im fucking pissed right now, because this was MY Thanksgiving dinner. My mom and my sister had certain items they were going to make and we were very clear on what they were. Part of what I wanted to do was show her how NOT to do shit... how it is possible to make a juicy turkey, greens that were not overcooked, and food with proper seasonings that, even if it did come from a box or a can, doesnt have to taste like it. I know my mother - she gonna try to commandeer the kitchen and start touching shit she aint got no business touching, and fuck it all up. Ima end up having cup-o-noodles for Thanksgiving dinner cause if Im still pissed when I wake up again, I know I wont eat none of that shit.

She aint been here 3 hours and she's already fuckin up..... *sighhhhhhhh*