Big Girl Pants

What would you do if you found out at the most inopportune time, in the most inopportune way that someone you love but have spent your whole life disappointed in was dying? Thats not my predicament tonight, but I was confronted with the issue via a close friend who found herself in this place and it made me think about my father.... my mother too, but mostly my father.

As I have mentioned periodically on this blog, I have gone back and forth in my stance with him - one day loathing and despising him and the next day feeling like I need to be the bigger person to obtain the closure that I need for ME, in the event that he is one day gone, along with the chance to get some answers.

I have decided tonight to go with the latter, put on my big girl pants and be the bigger person in an effort to ensure that no matter what happens, I can be satisfied that I did all that was within MY power to rectify the situation and bring closure to it. Whether or not he is responsive is not my concern. Whether or not he is honest with both himself and me, should he choose to be responsive, is not my concern. My only concern is doing what is within MY power to achieve it. If it doesnt happen, I did my part.

So with that...... here goes nothin.....