If Ya Heart's Filled With Faith....

...then ya can't fear.







Minus the rapper references and the jail time, this pretty much sums up how Im feeling right now. I spent most of the afternoon crying and shouting all through my room, but once I sat down and let things really sink in, a lot of things ran through my mind.

I didnt discuss it much because I dont give shine to haters and naysayers, but I caught a lot of backdoor flack for not packing up the midgets and heading back upstate when Plan A fell apart. There was this person and that person talking about me behind my back - saying one thing to me and then saying something else to somebody else..... there were some even wishing failure on me - like I didnt want to go back because I thought I was better than THEM - waiting for me to return with my head hanging low and a pocket full of excuses.

Yeah, I heard about it, but I refused to address it because I wasnt about to let anybody tell me what limits I should place on my faith. And it was hard. Not worrying is a lot harder than you think when other people's lives depend on every move that you make. You wonder if you are doing the right thing. You wonder if you missed a hint somewhere along the road. But then you remember that nothing you've EVER had in your life has come easy - not even your life itself - and you break out the umbrellas and galoshes and batten down the hatches, preparing to finish weathering the storm.

Next time you hear somebody talking about what they cant do, you tell em you got a friend you'd like them to meet.

Through all the stress (and woo, Lord, yall just dont know! *smh*) I held on to my faith, and I stand here today, saying "thank you" to everybody who had so much to say.

But I dont hear nobody talking now...

I aint dead
I aint done
I aint scared
I aint run

Still I stand
No matter what, baby
Here I am
No matter what, baby

I aint break
I aint fold
They'll hate me more
This year I know

So here I go
No matter what, shawty
Here I go
No matter what, shawty

"So even tho it's heavy, the load I will carry
Grin and still bear it, win and still share it
Apologies to the fans, I hope you can understand it
Life can change ya direction, even when you ain't planned it
All you can do is handle it, worst thing you can do is panic
Use it to your advantage, avoid insanity
Manage to conquer every obstacle, make impossible possible
Even when winning's illogical, losing's still far from optional"

One mo gain....

"Even when winning's illogical, losing's still far from optional."

The only person who needs to believe is you. Never give up. That is all.

Oh wait.... there is one more thing.......




I will not lose.