Sibling Rivalries

I was gonna blog about the VMAs but Im over it LOL.

After the show, my daughter came and told me that my son curses and that he said he hates her. Apparently she went through his phone and read some text messages where he swore, and heard a voice recording he made one day when he was mad at something she did. I told her I was the only one allowed to go through phones, and of course, he got mad, thinking I had gone through it too. I havent touched his phone since we've been in Jersey, but yes, I have looked through it before and I make no apologies for it. One, its MY phone. He's just using it. As long as I pay the bill, I will go through the muthafucka whenever I choose. Two, I respect his privacy to some extent, so I wont just go through it all willy nilly, but if something seems amiss, then yes, I reserve the right.

I think he was okay after he spent twenty minutes stewing in the bathroom and then we sat and talked, but my daughter came in the room and apologized, on her own, and he basically ignored her. I MADE him get up and hug her, because she started crying, saying that she doesnt like when he is mad at her, and it was like pulling teeth. Last I checked she was lying in bed, looking sad, like she'd cry herself to sleep. I hate this part of parenthood. I need him not to become the man that leaves broken pieces behind for somebody else to clean up, the way I'll have to do tomorrow with her, and I need her not to be the broken pieces, accepting of just anybody's glue. Right now, he is the man in her life, and the way he treats her will have a huge impact on her expectations later. I dont like it, but thats just the way it is.

Preteens can be so mean to their younger siblings sometimes. I dont know how to make him see that he has to take care with her feelings because she looks up to him and is only on his nerves because she wants to be a part of his life. My boyfriend said if he really got the message I delivered, he'd do the right thing when I wasnt looking. I hope he's right cause I've got a pain in my chest right now that wont let me sleep....

*sigh*