Resurrecting Dig

I had to take a break from the writing because it was starting to be all I wanted to do and my next job aint just gonna find itself. The laundry also aint gonna do itself, the house aint gonna clean itself, and although the midgets are perfectly capable, they dont like to feed themselves either LOL. I mean, I literally had not done my hair in a month - even for the interviews I had gone on, I rocked the same simple tucked in ponytail, just brushed and made neat, for the sake of presentation. My eyebrows were in serious need of attention, and let's not even talk about what my feet are looking like right now, deprived of its pedicure for all that time. Suffice it to say I took care of those eyebrows, handled the hair situation and I still skipped the pedi, not being able to justify it financially, but dammit, I looked like a new woman the next day.

I cant blame it all on the writing, I've been stressed out too, obviously. I mean even Aunt Flo was scared to come around LOL. Her ass decided to make this one a 40 day cycle. 40 DAYS! Ironic. Dont most of the people in the bible take their journeys for 40 days? LOL Anyway, she finally made it and Im already ready for her ass to move along.

Water retention aside, I've lost a few pounds too. Wish I could call it progress, but the truth of the matter is, I really just havent been eating very much. Not consciously, I've just been distracted. I've always had a little bit of a problem eating at home though. I've always done most of my eating at the office or while I was out and about. At home, I get too comfortable doing other shit and just forget, until my ribs start scraping against each other, at which point, I just get up and grab something. I almost passed out on my way to an interview one day last week, not realizing I hadnt eaten anything in that whole 24 hours prior. On the average day - like right now - I'll have some eggs in the morning, but nothing else all day. On a good day, I'll tear off a piece of the chicken or fish I made the kids for dinner, or if I made them something red, I might have a small serving of some rice or whatever the vegetable was. But thats on a good day, and there havent been many of those. I made a promise to do better though, so I'm trying to.

Most of my calories have come from cranberry juice. You know - CRANBERRY JUICE LOL. But I'm gonna step away from that for a minute too, if I can. I say "if I can" because having a nip seems to be the only way I can sleep these days. Its been like that since a couple years ago when that guy got shot up a couple houses over, with me and my kids sitting at the front window. My nerves were so bad, I didnt sit in my living room at night for a couple weeks and when I did, I'd be slumped down on the couch so my head wouldnt be window level. Crazy huh? Well I eventually got over it, but sleep was never quite the same. I've taken drinking hiatuses a few different times and found myself up all night, but my liver is gonna be filing a grievance any day now if I dont give it a break. My kidneys are already in the waiting area LOL.

Just found out I didnt get the job I wanted most out of all the ones I went in for. Im not sure why either - I thought it went exceptionally well. Maybe they didnt like my neatly brushed, tucked in ponytail.

*shrugs*