Fucken Paula

Most mornings I wake up with a song in my head. Never really know where it comes from - maybe it's got something to do with whatever I was dreaming about - but most of the time it's something I hear a lot and it generally sets the mood for my day. But I'm talking about Cardi B, T.I., Drake, or somebody that plays frequently on one of my playlists, so today threw me for a whole loop. It wasn't even just a song in my head. Today it was all the songs and guess who? 

Motherfuckin' Paula Abdul. PAULA ABDUL! WTF is happening right now? LOL 

No clue, but from the time I got up to pee at 5:13 a.m. to the time I brought my ass online a few minutes ago, all I could think about was the mood named Paula who provided a soundtrack for a short period in my life that always made me feel like dancing. Who thinks about Paula Abdul? Surely not me, especially in this day and time, but I lied in bed this morning going through all the songs I remembered from the late 80's, trying to think of the one that I really loved. After a whole "Cold Hearted [snake]" and "Opposites Attract" it came to me - "Forever Your Girl." It was such a fun song, just hearing it in my head has had me smiling and bopping around the house this morning. When I got online, I had no choice but to find it on YouTube. I instantly remembered the video as it started to play and it made me SO nostalgic. There were a couple of moments that actually flooded me with emotion and brought tears to my eyes. 

Nothing specific cme to me in terms of people or events, but I was definitely transported back to a time I shared a bedroom with my sister. A colorful ass room - blue, pink, tagging on the wall.... in retrospect, I'm really shocked my mother had allowed it. The room was all I could see. Right On! posters of Michael Jackson, New Edition and some other folks all over the walls. A boombox with one of the speaker covers missing on the front, and a cassette door that always got stuck but managed to tape the weekly countdown on the radio just fine every Friday night. Little ass TV sitting on a chair in the corner of the room that we watched The Box on. My sister's drooly pillowcase and wads of gum stuck on her bedpost. I spent a great deal of time in that room, by myself as my sister was often out running around with her friends and my only real friend at the time was the music. But boy did I love it. 

I remember another couple of songs I'd just play over and over again from some of the tapes I'd make off the radio.... "All I Want Is Forever," by Regina Bell and J.T. Taylor (who I had no business having a crush on) was a big one. The Jets - oh, I LOVED The Jets - "You Got It All."  Madonna, "Crazy For You."  Pebbles and Babyface, "Love Makes Things Happen." Michelle', "Something In My Heart." The Deele, "Two Occasions." There were more over that few years' time, but these - OH! I played them SO much. SOOOO much. This was definitely the time that music settled into my soul, guaranteeing it's place in my process of bringing me back from whatever place I found myself not wanting to be. Hours and hours I'd just play my tapes, sometimes singing at the top of my lungs, other times, just lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. Uhhh! Just thinking about that makes me wish for simpler times, but the magic of music is the ability to press play and instantly be right back there. 

Man. 

Fucken Paula.