Just to see

When I woke up this morning, there was about an inch left of the black and mild I was smoking last night. I went ahead and had it with my coffee, fully expecting to pick up another one when I went to the store later, but somewhere during the course of the day, I decided not to. Now I wouldn’t go so far as to say I started my quitting journey today – in fact, smart money says I’ll be firing one up by noon – but if you’ve ever been a smoker who was trying to quit, you know going a whole day is kind of a big deal. I just wanted to see if I could. Well, I knew I COULD, but I wanted to see how hard it would be with no preparation. It definitely wasn’t cake, but it coulda been a whole lot worse.

The thing about impromptu habit interruptions is that they make you super raw. It’s like you are trying so hard to ignore that nagging urge, that for a few hours, all your senses are heightened and you turn into the dude from Limitless LOL. I made decisions on shit today that I didn’t even know I was trying to figure out LOL…. But that functioning at a high level is short-lived. Once you’ve passed that stage, you get clumsy, agitated and slightly discombobulated – or at least, I do. For me that’s about 3 days in, so I was alright, but I could damn sure jump out a window right now tho. This tea better kick in quick. My nerves bout to be bad LOL.