Off You Go

I sat in my bed for eight hours today (including the pre and post coverage) and watched while one of my musical inspirations was sent home to our Lord. It was the most beautiful service I have had the privilege of being a part of, and today it finally hit me. Whitney is gone. There will be no comeback. Its over.

I made the jokes like everyone else when she was battling her addiction and fighting on national TV with Bobby, but I was always pulling for her to turn it all around and it is finally sinking in that that will never happen now. It hurt. A lot. But I hear my children in the living room laughing and suddenly, Im not so sad.

I never really kept up with the charts - if I like it I like it - but Saving all my love for you was her first number one record, according to the report I just watched. I distinctly remember that song being on the radio and me turning to look at the stereo as I walked thru my living room. It was silver, with big knobs (LOL) and sat underneath our TV on the stand. I stopped in the middle of the living room, sat down and muted the TV, staring at the stereo for the whole song, jamming. I dont recall whether that was my first time hearing it or not, but I remember that so vividly in my mind.

The first time I saw the video for "The Greatest Love of All" I cried, and I have cried every single time since.

"One Moment In Time" made me cry too and I cried all through those damn Olympics when they kept playing that shit LOL.

"Didnt We Almost Have It All" was my favorite song for a long time, followed by a slew of others....

....And then there was Mariah Carey LOL..... but I digress.

My best friend at the time and I both wanted to be Whitney. I had my little electric keyboard at the house, learning the keys to the songs and we would be in there singing our little hearts out to her music and trying to write our own songs. I never imagined myself actually singing one of her songs publicly, but if I was going to sing anything, it was going to be Whitney. That's where I felt at home, and you know.... she was there for me that night. I realized today that she will always be there for me... because even though there will be nothing new to come, what she's already done will always be here and it will sustain me as it has through all these years, because her music is timeless.

Tomorrow, she will be laid to rest next to her father, here in Jersey. So tonight I will toast her one last time. Farewell, Whitney... or in the words of Kevin Costner, "Off you go" and thank you for all the beautiful music that has given me what I needed at the times that I needed it, and as cliche as it may now sound... I will always love you.

Rest in peace.