39: The Family Tussin

I've come to the conclusion that my mama thinks I'm the family "tussin" LOL. I'm seriously gonna find me a couple t-shirts online that say that across the front: Tussin. Every time - I mean, EVERY SINGLE TIME - anything happens with this family, she expects me to make calls and have sit-downs. "Talk to your cousin and..." "Just call your sister and...." And now I'm the damn nephew whisperer LOL.

I get that this seems to be kind of my lot in life, but she don't know that LOL. She don't know I have this blog, or that people call me all times of night with the most random situations or run stuff by me in the middle of a run-of-the-mill game of Words With Friends. And I gotta tell ya - I've talked to a lotta people in this family and I really can't say those talks have yielded very many results. At least as far as I can see. If ya ask me, the trick to my effectiveness is NOT being related to the muthafucka on the couch LOL.

But either those talks have an impact and I just don't see it because I'm not there, or she might just be grooming me to take her place as matriarch of this family. Maybe it's a little bit of both.

Damn. That moment something doesn't hit you until you see the words hit the screen.......

38: Gardner Chambers, #RIP

Found out about an hour ago that a childhood friend of mine passed away last night. Not sure how, still waiting for his brother to get back to me, but it's got me kind of messed up. He was just a couple years older than me. He was my upstairs neighbor when I first moved to Rochester and was actually the first boy I ever made out with. We weren't close in our adult life or anything, really just Facebook friends, but this shit is just kinda trippy. People out here dying left and right, man. Left and right. YOUNG. It might intensify once I find out what actually happened, but as it is, it's got me thinking about my own mortality.

What will people remember about me? What do I remember about him? I remember he was mad cool. He was fast as fuck! I can still see his pigeon-toed slave feet running quick as a bitch across the courtyard, racing anybody willing to get dusted. He wasn't much of a looker, I'll admit, but he had such a jovial spirit, a great sense of humor. I took to him immediately. He started out one of my "big brothers" along with his actual brothers who were all really close with my family at the time. In fact, us making out was kind of the beginning of the end. Not long after that, his older brother got locked up for murder - 30 years - and shortly after that, the family moved away. We all reconnected on Facebook a few years ago.

Sigh.

I really want to know how he died. I don't know why it matters, but it kinda does. I think it's crucial to the closure. He's a part of my tapestry and since every thread has an impact, I need to know how this happened. For now, I will simply grieve his exit of this earth and reminisce on the crazy times we had back in the day. I pray peace for his family and his soul.

Rest in heaven, Gardner.


****Update****

No word still from the brother but I think I know why..... I googled it and found that he and his wife were both killed, an apparent murder-suicide; that he shot her and then himself. They were apparently separated at the time, apparently behind some charges of him having sexually abused one of their children, according to a comment posted on the article.

Wow. Just..... wow.

37: March Madness

Today was the most ridiculous day ever lol. My boss is gone for 10 days so I already knew there would be shenanigans but my team is just..... again, ridiculous lol.

A couple folks were about 15 minutes late but generally came in around the time they should. How much actual work got done? Just above the level of none lol. At least 30 minutes this morning was spent filling in March Madness brackets, and then by 12:30 we were at the bar with another team whose manager was out. When we came back to the office, it was all jokes for the rest of the afternoon. 3 people actually left AGAIN to go to another bar for about an hour. Tomorrow being Friday, I can only imagine. There are already plans to go out after work. One dude had a rehearsal dinner tonight, so I would be surprised if he came in before 10, if at all.

Big win though - I got my baby her college sweatshirt. Went all the way to NYU to get it, AND it was on sale. FOR THE WIN! Polished off that BEST MOM EVER trophy when I got home. #Undefeated #BOOYAH

36: Mom's Home

My mom is home from the hospital today. Had to lightweight threaten her to get to stay in the bed and not be trying to do laundry and all kinda shit she ain't got no business trying to do, but if she knows like I know, she will sit her ass down. Gotta make a trip soon to make sure she's okay. She drives me nuts but I love that woman to pieces and I honestly can't imagine what life will be like without her. I know one day I will have to figure it out but.... she not about to be daylight savings time, robbing me of hours and shit. That said, I recognize she's not in the best health - nothing terminal, but it could very well be the death of her if she doesn't take care of herself. To the best of my ability, I'm gonna make sure her eventual ride outta here ain't no easy win....

35: The NCAA can kiss my ass LOL

This little girl tells me on Sunday she needs a college sweatshirt. I know from time to time they have theme days at school so I figured that was what it was for. I'm like cool, go online and find one, we'll order it. She goes online, picks one out and I go to order it. Delivery dates are March 16-23 or something like that, with the expedited shipping being somewhere between the 16th-20th. Okay, so when you need it by? Thursday. *looks at watch* It's Sunday! LOL Why you just now telling me? *shrugs* Well I don't know about nobody else but I'm not paying a grip for expedited shipping with a window. I want a guaranteed "March 16th" or it's not worth it. I pay it, it don't get here til Thursday or Friday, then I'm just the idiot round here banking on FedEx. No ma'am.

So yesterday was a doozy of a day and I really wasn't trying to deal with life at all, so I came straight home. Today I figure, okay, let me go out and try to find this girl a sweatshirt. To put it into perspective, I get off at 5. It's 8:00. I'm JUST getting home. I legit looked fucken everywhere but nobody carried any kind of college shirts. It didn't need to be a sports team but you would think that would be the easiest to find, right? Footlocker, Modell's, somebody? Nope. Most stores only carried brands (Nike, etc). Modell's had team stuff but only professional. Wait, I'm lying; they did have a couple college basketball jerseys..... for $75. Hell to the no. Sorry, not sorry. I guess I have tomorrow to try some other things - maybe I can drop in a BMCC or something and see if they have shirts for sale. Can't hurt to check, but today, I couldn't wait to get in this house. I feel like I walked the whole damn Oregon Trail. Get home, sit down, turn on the TV and what's the first thing I see? NCAA Basketball Tournament.

*staring into the camera*

Turn this gotdamn TV off! LOL

34: Rough Day

Today was trying. Very trying.

My son was home with the flu.

My sister had been in the ER twice in the last week with a 200+ over whatever that day blood pressure.

And my mother has been in the hospital since last night.

I spent all morning on conference calls, dipping to the bathroom with my headset on, to cry in private. It was just a lot. I just spoke to my mom who has been on a morphine drip all day. You can imagine. But she sounds like she is managing. We're going to check in tomorrow.

I just...... sighhhhhhhh..... I cant. Have a good night, everybody.

33: Sunday Again

Finally sat down with this new phone today and transferred everything over except my pictures. I hadn't backed those up prior and when I got to that, the old phone kept freezing up so ya know.... maybe I'll leave them where they are and just start fresh. I swear when it comes to things you don't want to even think about, for me, it's right up there with moving and cleaning the stove LOL. It's not so much the functionality that gets you, it just takes soooo much time to get everything the way you want it. But I think I have it just about right now.

Have I recovered from my 3 back-to-back nights on the town? Mmmmm...... I guess. I could definitely use another day, especially since we lost an hour last night, but I think I'm okay. I don't think I'll be doing anything else anytime soon though, at least not for the next couple of weeks. I have some other things I want to focus on and since I did my taxes and owe Uncle Sam half a rack, I probably don't need to be spending money unnecessarily. Bastards. I'm so jealous of all the people out there with the $12,000 refunds LOL. But I mean, I have 2 kids and I NEVER got refunds like that even when they were small and I had deductible childcare expenses and what not. I don't understand it. I've owed nominal amounts for the last few years so I expected to owe again but I definitely owe more this year than I ever did. Once your kid turns 17, you no longer get the child tax credit for them so.... yeah. All good though. I prefer to get more in my checks during the year than in a one-time refund. This is just the other side of that coin. Whatever.

Since I didn't do anything else productive this weekend besides take care of my sick 18-year old (who should be nominated for the Academy Award for best performance in a "I'm gon die" drama LOL), I guess I will just lay right back down in this bed and watch these ratchets til I fall out. Hope y'all had a good weekend, I will see ya on the flip side....