2008

The big homie put me on blast today and made me feel guilty for not having blogged in..... IDK how fucken long it's been, so I promised I would put something up today. I didn't promise it would be poignant or in any way deep LOL, but I did promise I would post. In a genuine effort to make the read worthwhile, I dug up 5 hand-written journals I, for some reason, kept from 2008, hoping they would inspire me. What they did was remind me of so many people that I had all but forgotten about. Some for the better - I NEEDED to forget about their asses - and some just for the wear, but reading about that one year in my life was..... so crazy.

Of course, the only journals I saved are from 2008 so it's hard to say for sure, but I believe 2008 might have been one of the most pivotal years of my life. I saw my first black president, I quit smoking for quite a while, which told me I could actually do it, and I ran into so many people who had been significant in my formative years and on most occasions, I thought there was something significant about running into them again as an adult. 9 times out of 10, those run-ins culminated in confirmation that they were never that significant to begin with and Rochester was simply a very small place. It was a huge letdown for the hopeless romantic in me and those run-ins rocked me. Hard.

I read those journals feeling fearful for the girl on thee other end of that pen. Had I not known it was me writing those entries, I'd have thought OMG....this poor, naive girl. At times, that is exactly what I thought, even knowing it was me. Being a good person and wanting to see the best in everyone is one thing, but DAMN! I took a lotta L's putting everybody else before me and I risked a lot on flights of fancy. I guess that's me though, just a tad different today. Today, I have clear-cut boundaries and I'm petty as fuck LOL. Luckily, it still takes a lot to get me there but I care a LOT less about what someone will think or how they will feel afterward. I think that just comes with age. I'm on my way to being crotchety LOL #dorothyzbornak

But I can only be grateful for the lessons, the embarrassments, and everything else because it is those things that build character and make you into who you ultimately become. I'm not afraid, today, to tell you when something just won't do. I'm not afraid to express my disappointment when I expected better. I'm not even afraid of being misunderstood, which use to be my BIGGEST fear in life, oddly enough. I wouldn't go so far as to say that I am fearless, but I get closer to it every day. And for that, I salute you, 2008.

#salute