In My Bag

My cousin lost his long-time girlfriend yesterday morning. Sickle cell. She had been in and out of the hospital more frequently lately but it was still a surprise to hear she had died. He's so heartbroken and it's not a way I'm used to seeing him.

Spoke to Mr. Broadway tonight. It's been a while. We've had some texts periodically over the last year but I haven't actually seen him in about two. He tells me he was involved in the shoot-out last week that claimed the life of another Bronx officer. The funeral was yesterday. We catch up on each other's goings on and I told him I wanted to be added to his notify list. He explains to me that he is responsible for notifications and it's hell on the individuals getting it, but I counter that I'd rather know than not get any responses to my calls or texts, find out later that he's been dead a year and not have a chance to say goodbye. He agreed to add me.

I guess I'm in my bag of feelings tonight. I'm not depressed or anything, I'm just acknowledging that someone you love can be taken from you with no warning and you might be left holding that bag. In honesty, although I vibe with a lot of people, not very many are really that important to me. The ones who are, are everything and if you fall into that category, you know. I have been blessed to not suffer any personal losses in recent years but I know it's a temporary reprieve and at some point, it will hit. Hard. For all I know, it could even be me. Life is short.... soooo short. So while quoting Alicia Keys might be super corny, whatever it is you do with me..... PLEASE..... do it like you'll never see me again.

You just never know.