Digfiles: Aaaaaaand we're back...

Y'all.... I swear, I can't. I seriously CAN NOT!

This dude hits me up on POF last weekend, right... A little flashy for my taste but def my brand of cute, so I respond. We go back and forth a little bit and eventually exchange numbers. He texts me a whole rack of pics and when I look, I'm like "Oh this is THAT dude." I remembered having seen those pics before. I figured I must have come across his profile before and just never said anything to him. Like I said, he's a little flashy for my taste. Anyway, dude calls me a little while later and automatically I feel something is off.

First of all, he told me he was "a lawyer." I don't know any lawyers who call themselves lawyers - they tend to say "attorney" - but hey, whatever. I also don't know any lawyers who dress the way he does in those pics, but again, whatever. Can't judge a book by the cover, right? But he also didn't speak like a man that's educated to that degree either. Secondly, he denounced one-night stand types on his profile but all he could talk about was how sexy I am. Literally ALL he talked about for the 5 minutes we spoke. So we hang up and I go back to his profile.

His blurb said he was from Trinidad, moved here at 12, went to school here and got his masters in law, now practicing. Now I don't know if you all are aware - he clearly isn't - but while a masters in law (LL.M.) may allow you to practice law in some countries, it does not qualify you to practice in the US. You need a JD. So right there, I know this guy's not on the level, but I hold my mule.

He texts me over the next few days, saying nothing really.... hey....wyd... that typa shit. He calls me in the middle of my work day on Wednesday and I'm busy at the time so I don't pick up. I do call back though. He's in a stairwell, talking to whomever he's with about how they have two more flights. Neither he nor the person he was speaking to sound like they are in any kind of professional space - physically or mentally LOL. I mean, he sounded like he was with the homies.... IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN WORK DAY LOL. He says he will call me back when he gets upstairs. He doesn't but texts me later that night asking for sexy pics (nigga what? LOL). I ignore it and go to sleep. Next day he repeats the request and I'm like no, nigga, damn. A whole day later, you still think I didn't see when you asked me the first time? LOL FOH.

So fast forward to this morning. I'm up at like 6:30 and I have POF notifications so I go into the app. All the active conversations I have are sitting in my inbox and I see this pic of someone I KNOW I haven't been talking to. I'm like who the fuck is that? LOL I go into the message and it's our thread. WTF??? I don't know what prompted him to put them up, but I assume those are his real pics. He sounds a lot more like the guy in these pics - his personality did not at all match the flashy exterior of the other guy and if you know flashy guys, they are flashy through and through. So I get out of the app and sit here fuming, pondering what I should do. I watch enough Catfish, The TV Show to know the first order of business; find the guy in the pics.

So I run a couple google searches and can't find a match to any of the pics. Fake dude's POF profile didn't even come up so I was probably doing it wrong LOL. But I'm resourceful, y'all. Don't sleep. Dude is wearing the same clothing line in every single one of his pics. Even the most loyal label whores wear something else SOMETIME. Not this dude. I think this must be HIS line. I google it. BINGO. I find a YouTube commercial for the line from about a year ago. Definitely the right dude. He's a designer from Florida. And look, we not only have an email address but a phone number too! How convenient!

I decide I'm gonna tell the guy about the catfish. Maybe he'll do something, maybe he won't, but it's the right thing to do, especially since he's with his son in one of the pics this dude's using. I would feel super violated if it were me and remembering when I saw those pics way back, he's been doing this a long time. So I type up an email with all the background and go back to the profile so I can make note of the username. Now there are NO pics up. What the hell he doing now? Must be changing the pics again. I don't want to send the email until the pics are back up so he can actually see it for himself, so I continue my investigation on Facebook. Searching the clothing line again, I find dude's page. He really is quite good looking, I would definitely date him. Bummer. A few minutes later, the catfish has put up NEW pics of the guy in Florida and I decided to turn my email into a text, complete with screen shots of the pics I was sent.

*sent*

It's like 9am on a Saturday so I can imagine what was going through his mind reading this message from a total stranger, but he did thank me and confirmed that he lives in Florida and doesn't know who the dude is. I gave him the guy's username so he can look at it himself. I don't think he's even on POF but I guarantee you he is going to be talking about that text all day long and somebody he shares it with will gladly pull it up for him.

WTF is wrong with people? Isn't there like a cut-off age to being a catfish? LOL Who is still doing shit like this after 30? Guess I can be grateful this guy was just a fucken game-playing idiot and not something more sinister, but this is why I trust my instincts. This is also why I'm doing less and less dating online and more of catching my fish the old fashioned way.

Ain't y'all glad I go through this shit so you don't have to? You're welcome.