Foolishness

So Im talking to a good friend of mine today and he tells me he got in trouble with his girl last night, because she had gone through his phone and came across a text message he forgot to delete. Now the text was recent, but it was CLEARLY about something that happened YEARS ago, and while it did make reference to something sexual, the text, itself, wasn’t sexual in nature.

Now first of all………….. *smh*……………..hold on, let me sit up LOL……………… I wish a nicca WOULD go through my phone in 2011. We are going to have a misunderstanding LOL. That being said, in my less-enlightened years, I went through that in my relationship at the time, and it wasn’t pretty. My Ex would do stupid shit like rearrange the order of my contacts to see if I would notice (Really? LOL) and then be mad when I didn’t, even though the fact that I didn’t notice should have told him that I probably didn’t call the numbers often enough to know what order they were in *RME* ….. but I digress. PLEASE yall…. PLEASE stop doing this. If you have to resort to such measures, you probably shouldn’t be with that man. Whether he’s doing dirt or not, you don’t trust him, and that behavior indicates that you arent even trying to, so why not just cut your losses? Close that flip phone and go be with somebody you trust LOL

Now as far as the actual incident: I understand the uneasiness girlfriend probably felt, reading the sexual reference in the text. Even if it is innocent, I would venture to say that most people think it a violation to be discussing anything sexual with any member of the opposite sex, other than them, because we all know that all it takes is one well-timed comment or joke and that innocent conversation could end up in Oz, LOL. I totally get that. But can we focus on THAT piece and let go of the foolishness, like you being mad that he still talks to people he knew before you?

What is it about [mostly] women that makes them think they are gonna ensure their future by trying to erase a man’s past? You will never succeed in doing that, ladies. Do you hear me? YOU WILL NEVER SUCCEED. You cant erase a man’s past anymore than you can get your virginity back. You can pretend you’re the first woman he ever loved all you want but he’ll still have the damnedest time getting Shanita off his mind after he ran into her at the gas station for the first time in nine years. That has nothing to do with your man being a dog, or Shanita being a harlot LOL. Its just a part of being human, so you are gonna be fighting a losing battle, sweetie. What you should be doing is freaking the spot you occupy NOW. He’s with you NOW. Shanita’s at home wishing she hadn’t let him go after seeing him at that gas station, and he’s at home with YOU. Get your mind right. When he stops coming home, that’s when you have a problem LOL.

And sillier still, what about the friends your man or woman has had for damn near twenty years? Sure, he or she may have dated a few of them at one point in his or her life, but if its been over for ages and they are now JUST friends, or if there never was a romantic relationship, what, then, is the problem? I live in Jersey now. If I gotta promise my man that I wont go visit or talk to any of my male friends when I go back upstate to visit my family…………….…. Im not even gonna finish that statement LOL. I can just see me now, on the couch, having a conversation with my man….. “Ok so let me get this straight…… you don’t want me to talk ANY of my guy friends anymore? Well..... define "talk to" LOL.....Ok but you mean like….. NONE of em?” I can just about see the expression on some of yall’s faces, imagining that conversation, with all the guy friends I have, LMAOOOOOOOOOOO…… Cancel Christmas.

I just cant stand that level of insecurity. Think enough of yourself to be convinced that a person is with you because of all that YOU have to offer, that they didnt find in those other people youre worrying about. Trust and believe he had a choice. And speaking of choice, understand that his or her fidelity to you is also a choice as well, and no amount of snooping or rules or whatever else your unstable ass might try to employ is going to keep him or her from straying, if that is what they choose to do. But someome else has a choice too - you.