The Science of Dating

When I was a baby, my mom had a Siamese cat. That cat apparently thought I was HERS and wouldn't let anyone near me, except my mom. They had to lock the thing in the closet, as I'm told, but I never got a real answer about what happened to it. I mean, did they put it down? Give it away? Did it die in the fucken closet? Idk. But I do know that I hate cats to this day, and I wouldn't be surprised to find it's because of those early days I don't even remember. I don't trust them. I think they're sneaky, evil, and would kill off humankind if they could LOL.

That being said, I don't trust people with cats either. Cats are notably low maintenance so I think cat people are lazy and horrible communicators. I have much more respect for dog people. Dogs require more of you and rightfully so. I mean, they are some of the most loyal creatures on the planet; you gotta work for that shit. Dogs don't just need to be fed; they need to be taken out, walked, stroked and appreciated. Most importantly, when they shit outside, you gotta pick it up. Women come with shit. PICK IT UP!

I think there is something to be learned in the very nature of cats and dogs. If he has a cat, he's looking for shit to be easy; damn near self - sufficient. A dog man is much more likely to be willing to put in the effort. Science of dating in a nutshell.

You're welcome LOL