I took a picture.....
...... and just like that, um................
I wasnt bored anymore LOL.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
It be like that sometimes
I got bored.
I took a picture.....
...... and just like that, um................
I wasnt bored anymore LOL.
I took a picture.....
...... and just like that, um................
I wasnt bored anymore LOL.
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Self-check on deck
So.....
I didnt blog about it because..... well..... honestly, it just wasnt very high on the list of things I wanted to discuss.... but I have officially ended my year-and-a-half-long run with my boyfriend. As I mentioned before, it was over in my mind a couple of months ago, but we hadnt spoken about it until a couple of weeks ago. It should be said that I still love him dearly, and I'm not adverse to revisiting the situation at a later date, but for now, its the best thing for the both of us and I am content with the decision.
That being said, I spent the last hour or so thinking about what's next for me. Do I officially proclaim myself back on the market or do I just sit still for a while and ponder this thing called life? I think I've settled on the latter.
For a minute today I had almost convinced myself that maybe I dont really know how to be in a relationship anymore, after having so much bullshit occur in the minisodes I used to give that title, but in hindsight, I dont think that's it at all. I may not have always made the best CHOICES in who I gave chances to, not wanting to prejudge a person based solely on how they look on paper, but at the end of the day, I've always done the things I was supposed to do, whether or not they were appreciated or equally reciprocated. In speaking to one of my exes earlier this week, if anything, that may have been part of the problem. He told me I gave him too much rope - something I have said myself on more than one occasion on this blog - and while I always kinda attributed that to just not being one for unnecessary drama, not bitching about things I perceived to be trivial might have set the stage for the further fuckery I eventually endured. I dont think I will ever be a nagger or drama queen, but I do think in the future, I will stop the bus and berate the students much quicker. Understanding is highly overrated.
For now, I think I am going to continue focusing on being the best me I can be and when the time comes for me to whip out the checklist, I will only entertain opportunities that dont leave me with a bunch of unchecked boxes. A man that meets all my criteria could still bump his head in the end, but at least I wont look back on it frustrated in a knowledge that it never really had a shot in hell to begin with.
So score one more for life..... but I'm coming.
I didnt blog about it because..... well..... honestly, it just wasnt very high on the list of things I wanted to discuss.... but I have officially ended my year-and-a-half-long run with my boyfriend. As I mentioned before, it was over in my mind a couple of months ago, but we hadnt spoken about it until a couple of weeks ago. It should be said that I still love him dearly, and I'm not adverse to revisiting the situation at a later date, but for now, its the best thing for the both of us and I am content with the decision.
That being said, I spent the last hour or so thinking about what's next for me. Do I officially proclaim myself back on the market or do I just sit still for a while and ponder this thing called life? I think I've settled on the latter.
For a minute today I had almost convinced myself that maybe I dont really know how to be in a relationship anymore, after having so much bullshit occur in the minisodes I used to give that title, but in hindsight, I dont think that's it at all. I may not have always made the best CHOICES in who I gave chances to, not wanting to prejudge a person based solely on how they look on paper, but at the end of the day, I've always done the things I was supposed to do, whether or not they were appreciated or equally reciprocated. In speaking to one of my exes earlier this week, if anything, that may have been part of the problem. He told me I gave him too much rope - something I have said myself on more than one occasion on this blog - and while I always kinda attributed that to just not being one for unnecessary drama, not bitching about things I perceived to be trivial might have set the stage for the further fuckery I eventually endured. I dont think I will ever be a nagger or drama queen, but I do think in the future, I will stop the bus and berate the students much quicker. Understanding is highly overrated.
For now, I think I am going to continue focusing on being the best me I can be and when the time comes for me to whip out the checklist, I will only entertain opportunities that dont leave me with a bunch of unchecked boxes. A man that meets all my criteria could still bump his head in the end, but at least I wont look back on it frustrated in a knowledge that it never really had a shot in hell to begin with.
So score one more for life..... but I'm coming.
Sunday, August 12, 2012
And in this corner.....
I knew I forgot something.
So I told yall I really aint feelin my manager like that. Its become clear over the last day or two that I am not the only one.
There is one chick on our team who seems to be really cool with her. She is the only one she really speaks socially with. I thought the whole team seemed to have a positive relationship with her, but over the last couple of days, I am starting to see that there is a little bit of underlying "bitch, bye!" in the building LOL.
She was out on Friday. I think that played a huge part in the pleasantness of the atmosphere. We laughed, had a good ole time, but we also got work done. At one point, one of the guys asked me what I thought about the job so far. I told him I dug it but that I get frustrated with the contradictions. Several people have done trainings for me and the other couple of new folks, but every time, my manager contradicts what we were told, so its like.... do I do it like so-and-so told me to do it or do I listen to my manager? Everyone nodded and kinda fell silent - you know that pregnant pause that tells you the next words need to be carefully phrased LOL. They all pretty much said to listen to my manager. She has been successful, but it sounded more like they were saying to do it for my own good. I only picked that up because earlier this week we bumped heads a little bit and she went and told the HR lady who hired me, which led to the HR lady puling me into a conference room to see "what was wrong." I gotta say I was tight that she felt like she needed to go to her about such a small thing as it was, but I let it go and took it as a footnote. Clearly this is gonna be one of those smile-and-nod situations, at least for a while. Whether I agree or not, just say "ok" and keep it moving. I think the rest of the team is on the same wavelength. They said everyone has their own style but until I learn the lay, just do it how she wants me to do it so there aint no problems. Cool.
So the other day I said there is one chick on my team I dont really fuck with right? Well when you are new on the job and still learning how to counter certain objections, anytime you get a fish on the hook, your manager or another senior member of the team jumps on the back end of your call and cues you responses. This chick and I are on the same project, so she jumped on my call Friday and led me through it. As much as she was giving me props, she was also feeling herself a little bit, muttering little stuff under her breath about being the shit and what not LOL and commenting about how she had her own team before and how they were always #1. I thought it was funny how agitated she seemed but didnt quite put two and two together yet. Then she was like "wait, I led you through the call you had the other day too, right? Both calls?" I said yes and she went back to popping her collar. Then I thought about the call earlier in the week; she was leading me and my manager cut in and took over, I guess not feeling like she was telling me right, or at least not saying what SHE would say. Girlfriend told me later that when she is leading me, just disregard the pitch I was given because hers and my manager's are totally different. She must have felt some kinda way about being bumped and that's where all this was coming from.
So like I said, everybody went to the bar - everybody except this girl, who stayed behind to construct "the perfect email" to send to the guy I spoke to, despite my insistence that I could do it myself. She insisted her emails "are the shit" so I was like whatever, knock yourself out LOL. Her boyfriend came over to see if she was going to the bar and she said she would come in a little while but for him to take me over there with him. So he and I went to the bar, getting to know each other along the way, and we started talking about the team. He made some comment that prompted me to say that girlfriend and the manager seem to bump heads. He said "Megan bumps heads with a lot of people" LOL. Then he went on to tell me that she used to be the equivalent of my manager's manager over in Asia and previously had had her own team for a couple of years, but when she came back to the US, she was made to start over. Now I dont know if she had left the company and came back in or if that's just protocol - I didnt ask - but it suddenly became real clear what was going on.
Both this chick and my manager have exactly the same cocky personality and neither likes to be questioned or challenged. That's how me and the manager bumped heads that day (I might be new HERE, but I'm seasoned too, bitch LOL) and its the reason those two are oil and water. Girlfriend doesnt respect the manager's flow and the manager knows it, which is why very few words pass between them. I guess my manager is like do whatever you wanna do but this is MY new team member and you will not step on my toes. Its gonna be interesting to see how she reacts tomorrow when she finds out Megan played a role in my deal, because I imagine Megan is gonna be pushing the passive-aggressive button like she's stuck in an elevator LOL. I imagine she's gonna ask me to forward her the email Megan sent for me and whip out her red pen, crossing out shit she'd never have said, for future reference, and I'll become the rag doll torn between two selfish little kids who dont wanna play with each other anymore.
Man, I aint even here for that LOL. But still, it'll be interesting.
So I told yall I really aint feelin my manager like that. Its become clear over the last day or two that I am not the only one.
There is one chick on our team who seems to be really cool with her. She is the only one she really speaks socially with. I thought the whole team seemed to have a positive relationship with her, but over the last couple of days, I am starting to see that there is a little bit of underlying "bitch, bye!" in the building LOL.
She was out on Friday. I think that played a huge part in the pleasantness of the atmosphere. We laughed, had a good ole time, but we also got work done. At one point, one of the guys asked me what I thought about the job so far. I told him I dug it but that I get frustrated with the contradictions. Several people have done trainings for me and the other couple of new folks, but every time, my manager contradicts what we were told, so its like.... do I do it like so-and-so told me to do it or do I listen to my manager? Everyone nodded and kinda fell silent - you know that pregnant pause that tells you the next words need to be carefully phrased LOL. They all pretty much said to listen to my manager. She has been successful, but it sounded more like they were saying to do it for my own good. I only picked that up because earlier this week we bumped heads a little bit and she went and told the HR lady who hired me, which led to the HR lady puling me into a conference room to see "what was wrong." I gotta say I was tight that she felt like she needed to go to her about such a small thing as it was, but I let it go and took it as a footnote. Clearly this is gonna be one of those smile-and-nod situations, at least for a while. Whether I agree or not, just say "ok" and keep it moving. I think the rest of the team is on the same wavelength. They said everyone has their own style but until I learn the lay, just do it how she wants me to do it so there aint no problems. Cool.
So the other day I said there is one chick on my team I dont really fuck with right? Well when you are new on the job and still learning how to counter certain objections, anytime you get a fish on the hook, your manager or another senior member of the team jumps on the back end of your call and cues you responses. This chick and I are on the same project, so she jumped on my call Friday and led me through it. As much as she was giving me props, she was also feeling herself a little bit, muttering little stuff under her breath about being the shit and what not LOL and commenting about how she had her own team before and how they were always #1. I thought it was funny how agitated she seemed but didnt quite put two and two together yet. Then she was like "wait, I led you through the call you had the other day too, right? Both calls?" I said yes and she went back to popping her collar. Then I thought about the call earlier in the week; she was leading me and my manager cut in and took over, I guess not feeling like she was telling me right, or at least not saying what SHE would say. Girlfriend told me later that when she is leading me, just disregard the pitch I was given because hers and my manager's are totally different. She must have felt some kinda way about being bumped and that's where all this was coming from.
So like I said, everybody went to the bar - everybody except this girl, who stayed behind to construct "the perfect email" to send to the guy I spoke to, despite my insistence that I could do it myself. She insisted her emails "are the shit" so I was like whatever, knock yourself out LOL. Her boyfriend came over to see if she was going to the bar and she said she would come in a little while but for him to take me over there with him. So he and I went to the bar, getting to know each other along the way, and we started talking about the team. He made some comment that prompted me to say that girlfriend and the manager seem to bump heads. He said "Megan bumps heads with a lot of people" LOL. Then he went on to tell me that she used to be the equivalent of my manager's manager over in Asia and previously had had her own team for a couple of years, but when she came back to the US, she was made to start over. Now I dont know if she had left the company and came back in or if that's just protocol - I didnt ask - but it suddenly became real clear what was going on.
Both this chick and my manager have exactly the same cocky personality and neither likes to be questioned or challenged. That's how me and the manager bumped heads that day (I might be new HERE, but I'm seasoned too, bitch LOL) and its the reason those two are oil and water. Girlfriend doesnt respect the manager's flow and the manager knows it, which is why very few words pass between them. I guess my manager is like do whatever you wanna do but this is MY new team member and you will not step on my toes. Its gonna be interesting to see how she reacts tomorrow when she finds out Megan played a role in my deal, because I imagine Megan is gonna be pushing the passive-aggressive button like she's stuck in an elevator LOL. I imagine she's gonna ask me to forward her the email Megan sent for me and whip out her red pen, crossing out shit she'd never have said, for future reference, and I'll become the rag doll torn between two selfish little kids who dont wanna play with each other anymore.
Man, I aint even here for that LOL. But still, it'll be interesting.
Friday, August 10, 2012
I LOVE THIS JOB!
Today was kinda awesome.
It was casual friday, I got my homie an interview and he ROCKED it (per the HR chick), and I booked my first big wig exec. Word on the street is that people normally dont get their first booking until a month or so on the job, so I was kind of a celebrity for a minute there LOL. Boss called the day over at 4:30 and everybody headed to a local bar. A while later, Boss came in and laid a $400 tab on the bar. WHAT??? I LOVE THIS JOB! LOL
It was casual friday, I got my homie an interview and he ROCKED it (per the HR chick), and I booked my first big wig exec. Word on the street is that people normally dont get their first booking until a month or so on the job, so I was kind of a celebrity for a minute there LOL. Boss called the day over at 4:30 and everybody headed to a local bar. A while later, Boss came in and laid a $400 tab on the bar. WHAT??? I LOVE THIS JOB! LOL
Monday, August 6, 2012
The Jizzy.
So I didnt get back in here to talk any more about the job over the weekend, but that was because I didnt really have a ton to say.
My manager is a BITCH in serious need of a leave of absence to deal with whatever personal shit keeps her on the phone six hours out of the day,
... the actual job would be pretty easy if everybody stopped contradicting each other in telling me how to do it,
... and if I could just stop playing Words with Friends all damn night, I might be able to get up early enough to not have to run out the door every morning, trying not to be late.
The main thing Im not digging about it is the way everything is so heavily micromanaged. Everyone takes their morming and afternoon 15-minute breaks at the same time and you better not look like you gonna try to stretch it to 16. Everyone also takes lunch at noon and the same rule applies. I feel like Im punching a clock, even though Im not. On top of that, my manager sits right next to me (imagine you and your team sitting at an oversized, counter-height dinner table: Im in the left corner, with her adjacent to me, at the head of the table). So if I touch my cell for any reason, type an email or do anything that doesnt consist of short strokes and phone calls, she's right on top of me to see it. Not a huge deal, because everyone has to do SOME of that at some point, but she has a tendency to comment on every damn thing. She went on a soapbox today about how she doesnt hear anyone on the phone and Im like bitch, Im on hold! Re-fucken-lax! LOL
The team is pretty cool though, with the exception of one chick I just rebuke, and my new work buddy looks like George Clooney. I'll take it LOL.
I thought a little about it today and tried not to get too irritated at all the structure. I think it's quite possible that I've just been spoiled by all my previous gigs - you know, with all the flexibility and freedom. Plenty of other people have probably worked in environments like that their whole careers. Its just gonna take some adjusting. I mean, I guess having casual Fridays, 2 weeks off for Christmas and a raise around that same time is enough of a tradeoff for me to at least TRY LOL. Shit.
I have had a couple other things on my mind this weekend, but I have a paper to write, so I guess it'll have to hold. I aint quite worked em all out anyway, but I'll get around to it.
Yall be cool.
My manager is a BITCH in serious need of a leave of absence to deal with whatever personal shit keeps her on the phone six hours out of the day,
... the actual job would be pretty easy if everybody stopped contradicting each other in telling me how to do it,
... and if I could just stop playing Words with Friends all damn night, I might be able to get up early enough to not have to run out the door every morning, trying not to be late.
The main thing Im not digging about it is the way everything is so heavily micromanaged. Everyone takes their morming and afternoon 15-minute breaks at the same time and you better not look like you gonna try to stretch it to 16. Everyone also takes lunch at noon and the same rule applies. I feel like Im punching a clock, even though Im not. On top of that, my manager sits right next to me (imagine you and your team sitting at an oversized, counter-height dinner table: Im in the left corner, with her adjacent to me, at the head of the table). So if I touch my cell for any reason, type an email or do anything that doesnt consist of short strokes and phone calls, she's right on top of me to see it. Not a huge deal, because everyone has to do SOME of that at some point, but she has a tendency to comment on every damn thing. She went on a soapbox today about how she doesnt hear anyone on the phone and Im like bitch, Im on hold! Re-fucken-lax! LOL
The team is pretty cool though, with the exception of one chick I just rebuke, and my new work buddy looks like George Clooney. I'll take it LOL.
I thought a little about it today and tried not to get too irritated at all the structure. I think it's quite possible that I've just been spoiled by all my previous gigs - you know, with all the flexibility and freedom. Plenty of other people have probably worked in environments like that their whole careers. Its just gonna take some adjusting. I mean, I guess having casual Fridays, 2 weeks off for Christmas and a raise around that same time is enough of a tradeoff for me to at least TRY LOL. Shit.
I have had a couple other things on my mind this weekend, but I have a paper to write, so I guess it'll have to hold. I aint quite worked em all out anyway, but I'll get around to it.
Yall be cool.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
I Should Be Sleeping
Totally not a night hawk, but here it is, something to 2 in the morning, and I'm up.
Thinking.
About love.
WTF?
I think God is up to his tricks again.
Just please, Lord, no more trains....
Thinking.
About love.
WTF?
I think God is up to his tricks again.
Just please, Lord, no more trains....
Thursday, August 2, 2012
All this time down here wearing flats, I cant walk in heels anymore. What kinda mess is this? They still look cute, and they feel fine on. I can even stand and profile for a minute or two. But let me try to walk somewhere LOL. You see the pic, these aint even that high - well, I guess 3 and a half inches aint exactly for the faint of heart - but the point is, I never had a problem with them before. Its like my legs cant reach the floor unless I take itty bitty steps. I got long legs, I dont take no itty bitty steps LOL. They dont hurt (thank God!) I just feel like an idiot trying to walk in them, and while I do have my F2's in the bag, F2's are frowned upon in the office. So I guess I have to just sit my ass down til its time to go home.
*sighhhh*
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