Caribbean Pimp

I'm a strong, black woman. I don't rely on anybody to make the magic happen, I AM the magic. I do what I want, when I want, and don't nobody tell me how to move. So imagine this old dude in my office building telling ME to shut up and go back to work. You know what I did?

I shut the hell up and took my ass back to work LMAO!

Girl!

First of all, this "old dude" ain't no regular old dude. He's probably the smoothest glass of rum to ever come outta Barbados - I call him Caribbean Pimp. CP's probably in his 60's but he's good-looking and still has that swagger in his walk; you know the one that says I got a big dick - that one LOL. Don't even get me started on that accent - OOOOMG. Secondly, he didn't SAY for me to shut up and go back to work, but that was the message.

See CP and I are cool. We chop it up every day, either when I first come in or around lunch time. Thing is, the evening guard, also older, has a crush on me too and we're cool as well. Enter Hater George.

So Hater George was introduced to me by the evening guard. He works maintenance in the building so I had seen him around, but since the formal introduction, I'd made it a point to actually speak to him by name. But Hater George got a little comfortable. Hater George sees I rock with the evening guard and now he sees I rock with CP too. Hater George decides to get cute.

I don't normally stop and talk to either guard when there are other folks around so when I see George and another maintenance guy at the desk with CP, I just throw a nod and keep it moving. George says hello to me in an oh you gon act like you aint see me? kind of way, to which I respond with spirit fingers and the dry "Hey George," I give to people "doing it for the Gram," if you will. CP calls me back, asking if I had heard what George called me. I hadn't, but apparently he called me "sweetie" and CP wasn't pleased. He told George I was his girlfriend and that he was not allowed to call me nothing but my name. Don't Hater George drop dime about the evening guard? LOL This nigga runs it all the way down about how the evening guard is always making passes at me and I'm just standing there like Denzel in Training Day ... "Yooooouuuuu muthafucka."

Now don't get it twisted, I ain't feel no way about WHAT he said - I talk to whoever the fuck I want - but I did feel a way about what he was doing, and moreover, how he was doing it. He was trying play CP, like the evening guard was fucking his bitch and shit. I can't stand jealous muthafuckas, I swear. And this is some shit that ain't even real, harmless flirting that makes the day more interesting. Can you imagine if it was real though? That's how niggas get dead. I was disgusted so I just walked off.

Today I'm at the desk with CP and in saunters George. I say hello and CP glares at him over his glasses, waiting for his response. George says hello back and CP goes, "And stop right there. That's all you get" LOL Of course, George has to be the asshole, so he then says something else and calls me "sweetheart," which is immediately followed by some more smack talking that CP was not here for. CP ignores George's yapping and turns to look at me. I don't know if he saw how uncomfortable I was or if he just felt it wasn't something I needed to be in the middle of, but in a very calm voice he says, "We will finish our conversation later on. You can go now."

Lord, Jesus..... What I was feeling, I haven't felt in a loooooooong time. I mighta been a little wet when I left that desk, that shit was like fucken magic, I was AMAZED LOL. It was the calm but "understand me" way he told me to get the hell on, but it was also the feeling of being protected - him shielding me from the brewing shit storm and also the subjection of this salty nigga who was trying to use me to forward whatever agenda it is that he had. It's the way I just did what he said, without hesitation or thought. ME, LOL. I don't know if it's the age or the "rum" but I need one of those in my life.

Aw shit...... do I have daddy issues? LMAOOOOOO! SMH