Ain't No Telling

"Im just saying I lost a lot of people in life so im glad to be alive and even past that. im glad to be living life. I know mofo’s our age with health issues, or life dragging them down from certain life decisions. Man I have a fairly decent job hold my fam down im volunteering my time to coaching in this youth league im even able to get out and work out and play ball myself. Like man im 40 but I have better energy around me and in me than in myh 30’s or 20s so Yo im looking forward to making it to 50 and 60 and see how much greater I can be word.. ok rant over hahaha"

This was the email that stopped time.

It was one in a series of emails between me and my homie and maybe it was the timing, maybe it was knowing the guy and the story behind these words, IDK.... but it changed so much for me in that moment. I literally cried reading it. It's the reason I haven't been in here in a month; living life is so much more fulfilling than writing about it. Don't get me wrong, I've felt the guilt of abandoning my previous mission to update this blog more regularly, but the rewards of doing so have been worth it. I've not only been MIA here, but also on all my other social media, for the most part. I've peeked into my Facebook for 12 seconds at a time, reacting to whatever happened to be worthy in the first 6 or 7 posts, but I definitely haven't been present like I use to be. And you know what? It's so peaceful.

I've had lovely dinners with my phone face down on the table, not touching it once. I've had drinks with my phone OFF and in a bag in the corner. There is something about being PRESENT, without the distraction of technology, that makes life so much more....crisp. I don't remember the last selfie I took - it's been more important to experience the moments than to capture them. I feel better than I have in a long time, LOOK better than I have in a long time AND I'm looking forward to speaking with Kensington about HOPEFULLY taking up my book! Yes! I finally got off my ass and took step one toward actually doing something with it. Fingers crossed!

My oldest turns 19 on Sunday and that has given me some perspective too. 19 - damn. I feel like I'm only 25, how do I have a damn 19-year old kid? LOL SMH Proof of how time flies, for sure, and I'm not gonna look back at the next 6 years like I do at the last, wondering where it all went. I'm on vacation for the next few days, putting some things together and basking in the glory of 800 thread count sheets. I have a "reckless abandon" Red Lobster date on Tuesday and a prepaid massage on Wednesday and Thursday? Ain't no telling. That's how I'm rolling now LOL

Ain't. No. Telling.