Monday, October 31, 2016
Saturday, October 29, 2016
Losing
I get my groceries delivered - you know, cause I'm a princess - and I knew they were coming between the hours of 2 and 4 pm today. I've been up since 7 watching season 1 of Quantico on Netflix, but I figured if I could tear myself away from it by like noon, I would have plenty of time to run up the ave and get a pedicure and be back in time for the delivery. Any later than that and it wasn't gonna happen because by then, the shop would be packed.
So it's a little after 12, I'm walking into the salon. I go there all the time so the new chick is the first thing I notice. The owner asks where my daughter is today so we're chopping it up, the whole time I'm thinking in the back of my mind I do not want the new chick. But Mari, my regular girl was giving a manicure and the owner had gone back to watching Youtube or some shit with her earbuds in so I knew her ass wasn't working. It was either wait or take the new girl. Mari tends to have a lot of Saturday appointments too so waiting could leave me stuck. I'm at the wall picking my color, sighing all kinds of hard in my head, but I turn around and smile as Rookie Rita goes to start the water. She's going back and forth getting all the tools ready and I'm walking slow as hell across the room like it's the green mile, just knowing this is not gonna go well. I tried to stay positive though; she might not be so bad.....
Who are we kidding? The new chick is always bad.
But I sit down, put my earbuds back in and grab the controller to start the chair massage. Rita grabs a pad and starts removing what's left of my nail polish. I immediately look up because she's moving soooooo slow. I thought something was wrong with her. Then she grabs the nail clipper and starts to clip the nail on my big toe. When I tell you this woman clipped bit by bit, I mean she clipped like 16 times. ON ONE TOE. I just lean back in the chair and look over at the clock. 12:18
The next time I look up at the rookie, it's because she's filing the tips of my damn toes. It happens sometimes when you get your nails cut short and the worker isn't paying attention, but that shit was starting to burn. She moved on just before I said something but it wasn't long before I was looking up again. Now I'm just watching her. Now, I appreciate somebody being gentle with sharp objects on my skin but this woman was moving so slow and doing everything so softly, you had to wonder if she was concentrating. I don't know about nobody else, but if you have to focus that hard, I don't want you or your sharp objects anywhere near me. The lady next to me started laughing when she saw how I was watching the girl. She was watching her too. You couldn't help it, that shit was just unreal. Rita looks up, nervous, and says in spanish that she doesn't want to hurt me. The lady translates and we both laugh as I try my hardest not to roll my eyes.
I peeped a sign that said the callus remover was $8. I've had that before at another place but checked with Rita to make sure it was what I thought it was. Of course, she didn't know. So she asks Mari and Mari explains to her in spanish what it is. Clear that Rita had no clue, Mari explained to me that it was what I thought and I told her I wanted it. Rita panics. Mari's like chill, I got you. Me and the lady next to me just shake our heads. I don't know why I didn't get up at that point, but I figured I had sat that long, I might as well ride it out. Mari is working on the woman next to me by the time it's time for the callus remover. She talks Rita through how to apply the gel on the soles of my feet. Mari walks away for a second and this chick is massaging the gel into my feet, like it's lotion. Now it was a long time ago when I had this before but I was pretty sure I didn't remember them doing that. Mari comes back, I shoot her a look and she runs over to Rita like noooo, no, not like that.... Jesus. She ends up reapplying the gel, unwrapping the one foot Rita already did and redoing that too. I had been sitting about 5 minutes before I looked over at the clock again. 1:35 - WTF?
So now it's time to pull the saran wrap off my feet and scrape them with the paddle. Of course Rita doesn't know what she's doing so Mari is talking her through. She's running the paddle across my foot like an emery board. Lady, you just shellacked half a bottle of goo on a foot that ain't seen the inside of a nail salon in 2 months, you gotta get in there! The woman beside me is giggling again as Mari tells her in spanish she has to do it harder. She does go a little harder, but not much, and by now I'm irritated. "You want me to do it?" The lady next to me is really laughing now but I'm ready to walk my ass out the door, gooey feet and all. Mari grabs the paddle and starts going in. "Like this," she says to Rita. Rita's looking at me and I'm looking at her while Mari's standing, straight laying into that heel, skin flying everywhere, lady next to me cracking up off the look on Rita's face. She was fucken mortified LOL. Mari hands her the paddle back and she clearly didn't understand because she was still sitting, trying to file, and not making any headway. Mari's like "Harder! Harder!" Rita's about to lose her shit. I think she was really trying to put some elbow into it but just not enough and before any of us could blink, this bitch was crying. Real tears, yall LOL [In spanish] "I don't wanna hurt you! I don't wanna hurt you!" Am I in the gotdamn twilight zone? LOL
Mari asked the lady she was working on if it was okay if she finished the callus part and came over to sort me out. Rita didn't even look embarrassed, she just looked like she wasn't at all here for that shit. But she took over again once Mari went back to the other woman and by then, all that was really left to do was polish my nails..... which took 15 fucken minutes. I wouldn't even believe it if I wasn't the one in the chair, SMH. I paid the owner while Rita was doing the final strokes and left her the $3 change because I kinda felt bad, but when she said she was done, I was done. The owner's pointing to the fans like "You no dry?" Nah, bitch. I no dry. It was 2:23 when I left. What pedicure do you know takes 2 gotdamn hours? Luckily, my phone hadn't rang, so I knew the food hadn't come yet.
By then, I was starving though. Figured I could drop in the pizza shop, have them heat up a slice while I ran around the corner to the store and came back for it. Get to the pizza shop, it's open, but nothing's ready yet. 10-15 minutes, he says, for pizza. I don't have 10-15 minutes, so I'm like fuck it, I'll just grab a couple empanadas at the store. Go to the store, pick up my shit, start to eat one of the empanadas on the way back to the crib, this shit empty. WTF is this???! It was supposed to be a cheese empanada but I didn't taste one lick of cheese until the second to last bite and that was the ONLY bite there was some cheese in. I was too annoyed to even turn back around. I knew the best place for me at that moment was home, waiting for my damn groceries. I shoulda sat my ass in the house like I was doing, watching Quantico and being great. I bet I don't leave this house again this weekend.
Out here, losing. smh
So it's a little after 12, I'm walking into the salon. I go there all the time so the new chick is the first thing I notice. The owner asks where my daughter is today so we're chopping it up, the whole time I'm thinking in the back of my mind I do not want the new chick. But Mari, my regular girl was giving a manicure and the owner had gone back to watching Youtube or some shit with her earbuds in so I knew her ass wasn't working. It was either wait or take the new girl. Mari tends to have a lot of Saturday appointments too so waiting could leave me stuck. I'm at the wall picking my color, sighing all kinds of hard in my head, but I turn around and smile as Rookie Rita goes to start the water. She's going back and forth getting all the tools ready and I'm walking slow as hell across the room like it's the green mile, just knowing this is not gonna go well. I tried to stay positive though; she might not be so bad.....
Who are we kidding? The new chick is always bad.
But I sit down, put my earbuds back in and grab the controller to start the chair massage. Rita grabs a pad and starts removing what's left of my nail polish. I immediately look up because she's moving soooooo slow. I thought something was wrong with her. Then she grabs the nail clipper and starts to clip the nail on my big toe. When I tell you this woman clipped bit by bit, I mean she clipped like 16 times. ON ONE TOE. I just lean back in the chair and look over at the clock. 12:18
The next time I look up at the rookie, it's because she's filing the tips of my damn toes. It happens sometimes when you get your nails cut short and the worker isn't paying attention, but that shit was starting to burn. She moved on just before I said something but it wasn't long before I was looking up again. Now I'm just watching her. Now, I appreciate somebody being gentle with sharp objects on my skin but this woman was moving so slow and doing everything so softly, you had to wonder if she was concentrating. I don't know about nobody else, but if you have to focus that hard, I don't want you or your sharp objects anywhere near me. The lady next to me started laughing when she saw how I was watching the girl. She was watching her too. You couldn't help it, that shit was just unreal. Rita looks up, nervous, and says in spanish that she doesn't want to hurt me. The lady translates and we both laugh as I try my hardest not to roll my eyes.
I peeped a sign that said the callus remover was $8. I've had that before at another place but checked with Rita to make sure it was what I thought it was. Of course, she didn't know. So she asks Mari and Mari explains to her in spanish what it is. Clear that Rita had no clue, Mari explained to me that it was what I thought and I told her I wanted it. Rita panics. Mari's like chill, I got you. Me and the lady next to me just shake our heads. I don't know why I didn't get up at that point, but I figured I had sat that long, I might as well ride it out. Mari is working on the woman next to me by the time it's time for the callus remover. She talks Rita through how to apply the gel on the soles of my feet. Mari walks away for a second and this chick is massaging the gel into my feet, like it's lotion. Now it was a long time ago when I had this before but I was pretty sure I didn't remember them doing that. Mari comes back, I shoot her a look and she runs over to Rita like noooo, no, not like that.... Jesus. She ends up reapplying the gel, unwrapping the one foot Rita already did and redoing that too. I had been sitting about 5 minutes before I looked over at the clock again. 1:35 - WTF?
So now it's time to pull the saran wrap off my feet and scrape them with the paddle. Of course Rita doesn't know what she's doing so Mari is talking her through. She's running the paddle across my foot like an emery board. Lady, you just shellacked half a bottle of goo on a foot that ain't seen the inside of a nail salon in 2 months, you gotta get in there! The woman beside me is giggling again as Mari tells her in spanish she has to do it harder. She does go a little harder, but not much, and by now I'm irritated. "You want me to do it?" The lady next to me is really laughing now but I'm ready to walk my ass out the door, gooey feet and all. Mari grabs the paddle and starts going in. "Like this," she says to Rita. Rita's looking at me and I'm looking at her while Mari's standing, straight laying into that heel, skin flying everywhere, lady next to me cracking up off the look on Rita's face. She was fucken mortified LOL. Mari hands her the paddle back and she clearly didn't understand because she was still sitting, trying to file, and not making any headway. Mari's like "Harder! Harder!" Rita's about to lose her shit. I think she was really trying to put some elbow into it but just not enough and before any of us could blink, this bitch was crying. Real tears, yall LOL [In spanish] "I don't wanna hurt you! I don't wanna hurt you!" Am I in the gotdamn twilight zone? LOL
Mari asked the lady she was working on if it was okay if she finished the callus part and came over to sort me out. Rita didn't even look embarrassed, she just looked like she wasn't at all here for that shit. But she took over again once Mari went back to the other woman and by then, all that was really left to do was polish my nails..... which took 15 fucken minutes. I wouldn't even believe it if I wasn't the one in the chair, SMH. I paid the owner while Rita was doing the final strokes and left her the $3 change because I kinda felt bad, but when she said she was done, I was done. The owner's pointing to the fans like "You no dry?" Nah, bitch. I no dry. It was 2:23 when I left. What pedicure do you know takes 2 gotdamn hours? Luckily, my phone hadn't rang, so I knew the food hadn't come yet.
By then, I was starving though. Figured I could drop in the pizza shop, have them heat up a slice while I ran around the corner to the store and came back for it. Get to the pizza shop, it's open, but nothing's ready yet. 10-15 minutes, he says, for pizza. I don't have 10-15 minutes, so I'm like fuck it, I'll just grab a couple empanadas at the store. Go to the store, pick up my shit, start to eat one of the empanadas on the way back to the crib, this shit empty. WTF is this???! It was supposed to be a cheese empanada but I didn't taste one lick of cheese until the second to last bite and that was the ONLY bite there was some cheese in. I was too annoyed to even turn back around. I knew the best place for me at that moment was home, waiting for my damn groceries. I shoulda sat my ass in the house like I was doing, watching Quantico and being great. I bet I don't leave this house again this weekend.
Out here, losing. smh
Sunday, October 23, 2016
PowerTrippin, Episode 26
Most recent episode of Power Trippin is available NOW!!
Episode 26: "We missed last week cause of Hurricane Matthew and his bullshit. But we're back! This week we talk about our disappointment in Luke Cage. We laugh at Adrien Broner and his attention whoring tactics. We got more fan mail and Bebe is not up for our shenanigans. A listener reveals that she wants to have sex with 2 men at the same time. And the show goes off the rails at this point."
Check it out on the link below.
https://soundcloud.com/tripwithus/ep26
Episode 26: "We missed last week cause of Hurricane Matthew and his bullshit. But we're back! This week we talk about our disappointment in Luke Cage. We laugh at Adrien Broner and his attention whoring tactics. We got more fan mail and Bebe is not up for our shenanigans. A listener reveals that she wants to have sex with 2 men at the same time. And the show goes off the rails at this point."
Check it out on the link below.
https://soundcloud.com/tripwithus/ep26
Tuesday, October 18, 2016
Throwback Season
Welp....... guess it's that time of year again. No, not the holidays. Throwback Season. You know - that 4 to 6-week period right before Cuffing Season officially starts, when the lazy and uninspired make another run at their exes and former boos before putting in the work to find something new to get into. You know me, I'm sentimental and shit, so I get a blast from the past and I'm like "I crossed your mind? Aww, how sweet..." (What? Muhfuckas miss me sometimes LOL) but as soon as I look at the calendar, I know what time it is. Some of y'all doing it wrong though, the trickery has got to stop! *taps mic* Can I have your attention, please?
First thing you wanna do is walk over to a mirror, look yourself in the face and ask, "Am I playing myself?" This is a serious question and you should be honest with yourself because you could ACTUALLY be playing yourself LOL. The truth of the matter is, a lotta you think of yourselves as a woman's Drake (baby, you my everything, you all I ever wanted) when most of y'all are our Carl Thomas (we wish we never met you). Not every dude we once rocked with can come back around, so if you answered "yes" to the above question, go back to the couch and resume that wack ass beta of Call of Duty Infinite Warfare, but if you honestly believe you have a holla, take your shot.
Next, announce yourself. You need to let her know she's up so she can respond accordingly and the best way to do that is by using the standard season's greetings: "What's up, Big Head" and "Hey, Stranger". That'll do. Don't get all cute and creative now, nigga.
Humble yourself. Try not to piss her off by a) reminding her of the fuck shit you did or b) calling out the fuck shit she did. Even if she was on some bullshit, pretend it doesn't matter anymore. Once you're back in her inbox, it doesn't.
Lastly, this is not the time to be talking about all the shit you wanna do to her, especially if you don't know with 100% certainty that the dick ain't trash. Many a man has been humbled by the "Nah."
Make no mistake, the rules apply to women too, but let's be real - the fellas be having Throwback Season on lock. Why? Rule #1. A man on a mission don't give a damn about his dignity but women don't generally operate so recklessly because we know if you pull a "Who this?" we might have to stab you LOL. You know good and damn well you already picking out the basketball shorts, socks and flip flops you gonna answer the door in when we come over to chill but you tryna stunt. Ain't nobody got time for that. But the other reason we leave this shit to y'all? 95 times out of 100, we don't want ya asses back LOL.... that is, not until you show up and convince us that the worst thing we could ever fucken do in life - dealing with yo simple ass again - is actually a good idea. Crazy thing is, you quite often do, so if you haven't taken any shots by now, with just a couple weeks left in the game, what are you doing with your life? Get your shit together! LOL
Friday, October 14, 2016
Wednesday, October 12, 2016
Power Trippin
Power Trippin is a weekly podcast that will make you feel like you're sitting at a backyard cookout, or up in a barbershop buggin out with ya people. It's morning show style, a crew of folks sitting around talking and laughing about the dumb shit that goes on in the world. Highly entertaining. Check it out via the link below.
https://soundcloud.com/tripwithus/ep25
https://soundcloud.com/tripwithus/ep25
Sunday, October 9, 2016
Yup. Still Hate Daredevil
So I finally buckled down and watched the Daredevil installment of the Marvel series on Netflix. Turns out there are actually 2 seasons so I committed to knocking out both. I liked this version of the story because it was kinda different than what we've seen but I still stand firm; I just don't like the guy. No matter who plays him, no matter what the story line is, Daredevil is still kind of a douche LOL.
The season 1 story was so good that I almost thought I would get over the hump. Great cast, everybody worked, and I peeped all the shout outs to some of the other series. But the great cast and writing worked against Daredevil, I think, because after a couple episodes of season 2, it was his part of the story I stopped caring about. I was more interested in what was going on with everybody else. They had some nice throwbacks to season 1, introduced the Punisher (OMG, he was the illest!) and who else but Elektra. You better come on, Marvel! The show had all the right ingredients but Daredevil still don't do it for me.
You know what I think it is? We grow a fondness for most of these superheroes who compromise their own lives to protect their cities, but Daredevil does it with such.....arrogance. Some of the shit he says about "his" city needing him to save it made me just squint at the screen like really, nigga? Don't get me wrong - it's great that you have these gifts that allow you to do things most people can't and that you've chosen to use those powers for good. We appreciate that shit LOL. But people like other superheroes because they're humble. They also have other shit to do, which they tend to be doing when they happen to stumble upon some mess going down and decide to help out. Who goes out at night TROLLING for muhfuckas to save? Get a fucken life LOL.
Now maybe I'm being too hard on the man, but I feel a way about folks with these delusions of grandeur that make them think it's okay to shit on their friends, out here tap dancing for random strangers. What about your peoples? You the dude in the hood that'll leave his man hung out over a bitch LOL. I got no love for you, Daredevil. No love.
But if you happen to be a fan, check these joints out. The story was well done, IMO, and despite my personal feelings for the Daredevil character, I'm curious what they do with season 3. I think The Iron Fist is the next one due out, early next year. Not at all familiar with his story but I'll be watching!
The season 1 story was so good that I almost thought I would get over the hump. Great cast, everybody worked, and I peeped all the shout outs to some of the other series. But the great cast and writing worked against Daredevil, I think, because after a couple episodes of season 2, it was his part of the story I stopped caring about. I was more interested in what was going on with everybody else. They had some nice throwbacks to season 1, introduced the Punisher (OMG, he was the illest!) and who else but Elektra. You better come on, Marvel! The show had all the right ingredients but Daredevil still don't do it for me.
You know what I think it is? We grow a fondness for most of these superheroes who compromise their own lives to protect their cities, but Daredevil does it with such.....arrogance. Some of the shit he says about "his" city needing him to save it made me just squint at the screen like really, nigga? Don't get me wrong - it's great that you have these gifts that allow you to do things most people can't and that you've chosen to use those powers for good. We appreciate that shit LOL. But people like other superheroes because they're humble. They also have other shit to do, which they tend to be doing when they happen to stumble upon some mess going down and decide to help out. Who goes out at night TROLLING for muhfuckas to save? Get a fucken life LOL.
Now maybe I'm being too hard on the man, but I feel a way about folks with these delusions of grandeur that make them think it's okay to shit on their friends, out here tap dancing for random strangers. What about your peoples? You the dude in the hood that'll leave his man hung out over a bitch LOL. I got no love for you, Daredevil. No love.
But if you happen to be a fan, check these joints out. The story was well done, IMO, and despite my personal feelings for the Daredevil character, I'm curious what they do with season 3. I think The Iron Fist is the next one due out, early next year. Not at all familiar with his story but I'll be watching!
Friday, October 7, 2016
Marvel Dopeness
Yo! Have y'all checked out the Marvel series on Netflix? If you haven't, you might want to get your life together. Apparently, the first one was Daredevil, but Daredevil has been done..... and done again... so I wasn't really checking for it initially. I started with Luke Cage, which is actually the third installment in the series. Black as hell and the music? Son! Don't get me started on the level of sexy in that shit. I was all the way here for it. What I liked most about it was that it was relevant and didn't have all the corny writing we're accustomed to these days. Yeah, there were the expected phrases that a superhero movie just wouldn't be a superhero movie without, but nothing that made you go "really?" Just saying. Luke Cage was mad good.
After that, Jessica Jones. Don't tell my son but I didn't know who the fuck Jessica Jones was when he said I should watch it. Never heard of her. That said, ya girl watched the whole season in a day. That's how good it was. And it tied into the Luke Cage story in such a way that even though I didn't watch it in order, it made perfect sense. They even used the same actors for the crossover characters. I was impressed, they really thought this shit through.
So now I guess I gotta go watch Daredevil. To its credit, I heard it's better than any of the previously done versions, and these other two series were on point, so I'm optimistic, but not excited. As superheroes go, I never really fucked with Daredevil like that. I don't know why - it's not like bulletproof skin and muhfuckas that fly are so much more believable than somebody being blind LOL - he just never made me give a shit. I will set my judgement aside though until I watch it and hope to be pleasantly surprised.
But I doubt it LOL
After that, Jessica Jones. Don't tell my son but I didn't know who the fuck Jessica Jones was when he said I should watch it. Never heard of her. That said, ya girl watched the whole season in a day. That's how good it was. And it tied into the Luke Cage story in such a way that even though I didn't watch it in order, it made perfect sense. They even used the same actors for the crossover characters. I was impressed, they really thought this shit through.
So now I guess I gotta go watch Daredevil. To its credit, I heard it's better than any of the previously done versions, and these other two series were on point, so I'm optimistic, but not excited. As superheroes go, I never really fucked with Daredevil like that. I don't know why - it's not like bulletproof skin and muhfuckas that fly are so much more believable than somebody being blind LOL - he just never made me give a shit. I will set my judgement aside though until I watch it and hope to be pleasantly surprised.
But I doubt it LOL
Monday, October 3, 2016
Saturday, October 1, 2016
Summer '16
I mean.....if Drake can take the summer off...... *shrugs*
Definitely have had a lot going on. I needed to take a step back, not just from this blog, but from LIFE, really. Until very recently, I haven't had much of a presence anywhere, bar a random "like" here or there on Facebook. When you're in that place of evaluating everything, right down to your own core beliefs, you don't want anything or anybody influencing or interfering with your process. When you're in that place of evaluating everything, you're also extremely sensitive to the way people interact with you.... the things they say..... the way they say them. And I don't mean in the sense that everything offends you, but in the sense that everything means more than the words. More than the actions or behaviors. Everything becomes an RSVP to a particular space in your life... or the claim check to a little cardboard box with all their shit in it.
Still "separating clothes," so to speak, but mostly I'm sweeping up in the aftermath of Hurricane WTF. Just took on a side writing obligation so as of now, it's back to work.
#coffee
Definitely have had a lot going on. I needed to take a step back, not just from this blog, but from LIFE, really. Until very recently, I haven't had much of a presence anywhere, bar a random "like" here or there on Facebook. When you're in that place of evaluating everything, right down to your own core beliefs, you don't want anything or anybody influencing or interfering with your process. When you're in that place of evaluating everything, you're also extremely sensitive to the way people interact with you.... the things they say..... the way they say them. And I don't mean in the sense that everything offends you, but in the sense that everything means more than the words. More than the actions or behaviors. Everything becomes an RSVP to a particular space in your life... or the claim check to a little cardboard box with all their shit in it.
Still "separating clothes," so to speak, but mostly I'm sweeping up in the aftermath of Hurricane WTF. Just took on a side writing obligation so as of now, it's back to work.
#coffee
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