Happy Thanksgiving

So I managed to salvage my holiday.

After I blogged last night, I had myself a calm down drink and a black and marched my ass right back into the kitchen to regulate. Suffice it to say, when I got up this morning, that turkey had not been touched and my greens were still safe and sound in their pre-cut, pre-cleaned bags. Of course there were some unsolicited suggestions being made all around, but I just ignored them and did what I do. I am happy to say that all the food came out delicious, although, strangely enough, I only had one plate. I told myself I was going back for seconds as soon as my food digested, but I guess it never digested, cause seven hours later, I still feel full.

I tried to be sociable as much as I could, but I spent a lot of the day in my room. I guess I was trying to avoid the BS that my mother and me in the same room for too long tends to generate, but I kinda just felt like being in my room. The house was hot as hell after all the cooking and the moderately warm weather, and they didnt want the ceiling fan on for whatever reason. I was hot...... shit...... so I chilled under the ceiling fan in my room and watched Miracle on 34th St (my co-favorite Christmas movie, next to Its a Wonderful Life) and played Words With Friends. I imagine there was some commentary about my seclusion but you know what? I dont really care LOL. I did what I needed to in order to have a good day today, and they can have my full participation tomorrow when we hit the city. Its their last full day before they go back upstate on Saturday, so I think thats a fair compromise.

All in all, it was a good day. Im not in jail, everybody's still speaking, and I think everyone enjoyed themselves. After the first couple of hours of them (her) being here, I wasnt so sure it would go down like that, but hey, Im glad it did.

Happy Thanksgiving, yall. I hope yall all had a wonderful day.

Dig, out.

Fucken Boundaries!

My family got here at about 2am. Its now 4 am and Im annoyed already.

Everything was cool for the first hour. My mama didnt say a whole lot. She had even laid down at one point and I thought she was going to bed, especially since she kept saying over and over again how "we" had to get up at 6 to go to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.... mind you, this was at about 2:30. Who the hell she thought was getting up at 6 to go to a parade, IDK, but I digress.

I was half sleep when they got here, so after a half hour of being sociable, I decide Im going back to bed. Im in the bed about 20 minutes when I hear this clicking..... over and over and over again. Its my stove. She is in there, apparently trying to light it, and just letting it click and click and click, seeping gas all up and through the house. So I get up like WTF? She doesnt seem to grasp my concern, but the stove is lit and she is doing whatever she is doing, so I let it go. This is when I notice my turkey is in the sink and there are turkey necks in one of the big pots on the stove.

Now some of yall know this about me and some of yall dont, but if you are among the latter, let me school you: I dont like people fuckin with my shit. If I say Im cooking something, LET ME COOK IT. Dont take it upon yourself to start it, or add to it or anything else, trying to be helpful. ESPECIALLY my greens.

Now A, I told my mother when she first got there that I did not want to cook the turkey overnight. In my opinion (mostly from my experience with her making turkey in the past) it dries the turkey out. The bird only needs about three hours in the oven so there is plenty of time to stick it in there in the morning. Why is my turkey in the sink? My turkey is in the sink because she completely disregarded what I said and decided she was gonna do what she wanted to do anyway.

B, WHY are you boiling my turkey necks? "Its the broth for the greens. The turkey necks need about two hours in the pot, so at least that will be done already and you can just put the greens in later."

*staring into the camera*

Are you fucking serious??? I HOPE I dont even need to tell yall the multiple things that are wrong with that statement - ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? YOU, lady, are the woman who at one family barbecue, called yourself making greens, didnt think you had made enough, and added spinach to them to fill them out. FUCKING SPINACH!!!! You need to be as far away from a cooking pot of greens as humanly possible.

Maybe Im taking this too personally, but Im fucking pissed right now, because this was MY Thanksgiving dinner. My mom and my sister had certain items they were going to make and we were very clear on what they were. Part of what I wanted to do was show her how NOT to do shit... how it is possible to make a juicy turkey, greens that were not overcooked, and food with proper seasonings that, even if it did come from a box or a can, doesnt have to taste like it. I know my mother - she gonna try to commandeer the kitchen and start touching shit she aint got no business touching, and fuck it all up. Ima end up having cup-o-noodles for Thanksgiving dinner cause if Im still pissed when I wake up again, I know I wont eat none of that shit.

She aint been here 3 hours and she's already fuckin up..... *sighhhhhhhh*

Quick Weekend Recap

Pretty busy weekend and overeatng with the kids LOL. Red Lobster yesterday and pizza tonight. I had like 5 slices, but in my defense, it was 7pm by then and it was the only thing I ate all day. My stomach didnt care much for my logic and I was breathing through my elbows for about two hours afterwards, cause my stomach had my lungs in a headlock, but hey.

I shopped for the house and for Thanksgiving, bought the Christmas tree and spent all day today cleaning. Odd how I SPENT ALL DAY CLEANING and it never got finished LOL. Jamming too hard will do that, I guess, but yall know how I do with channel 843. Dont judge me.

Im hoping to be productive in this here three-day work week, but the fact that I have a 4-6 page paper due by midnight tomorrow that I havent even started does not look good. That means the kids are eating something microwavable for dinner so I can come home and get straight to it, but they know thats how I roll on Mondays.

Guess I should crash and get this work week crackin in 5 hours. Hope yall all had a good weekend. Have a good week!

Big Girl Pants

What would you do if you found out at the most inopportune time, in the most inopportune way that someone you love but have spent your whole life disappointed in was dying? Thats not my predicament tonight, but I was confronted with the issue via a close friend who found herself in this place and it made me think about my father.... my mother too, but mostly my father.

As I have mentioned periodically on this blog, I have gone back and forth in my stance with him - one day loathing and despising him and the next day feeling like I need to be the bigger person to obtain the closure that I need for ME, in the event that he is one day gone, along with the chance to get some answers.

I have decided tonight to go with the latter, put on my big girl pants and be the bigger person in an effort to ensure that no matter what happens, I can be satisfied that I did all that was within MY power to rectify the situation and bring closure to it. Whether or not he is responsive is not my concern. Whether or not he is honest with both himself and me, should he choose to be responsive, is not my concern. My only concern is doing what is within MY power to achieve it. If it doesnt happen, I did my part.

So with that...... here goes nothin.....

Punk'd?

meant to write this blog last night, but I got distracted with laundry, life, and “words with friends” (my new addiction) and eventually wound up falling asleep – lights on, laptop on, everythang LOL. Hey, I had a long day.

Anyway….

So last night on my way home from work, I realized I only had $5 cash on me. I was going to a store on my way home that had a card machine, but I was gonna spend $3 out of that $5 just getting home and end up having no real money on me. When you have school age children who are notorious for springing “I need $__” things on you last minute, you learn to always keep a few dollars handy. I also wanted to buy some discounted bus tickets and they only accept cash.

So I stop at an ATM before I left the subway and took out $40. I go up into the Port Authority and wait in the short line to buy my $20 worth of tickets. I tuck them in my wallet, tuck my wallet back in my bag and turn my iPod back on. On the way to my bus gate, a guy calls out to me, asking if I speak English. I nod, stop, and remove one of my ear buds so I could hear him. Looking around, I couldn’t imagine he had trouble finding another person who spoke English, but he singled me out so hey, whatever.

He just starts going a mile a minute and I had no idea WTF he was talking about for the first minute he was talking. He’s showing me this paper with all this yellow highlighting and I realize he is telling me that some social service agency helped him get a job as a chef at some Marriott in Jersey, and this paper is his way of proving it to me. He’s also telling me the job pays $19/hr, more money than he’s ever made and he is tired of working for $10/hr LOL. Yes indeed, he was talking to me like we went way back LOL. I still wasn’t sure what he was getting at, I mean, I was sure he didn’t stop me just to tell me about this new job he got LOL but he wasn’t getting to the point. So I just ask him; “Ok, so what are you asking me?” Now he’s telling me what church he goes to (LOL) and how the people at church sent him off with $20 or $25 to start his job, but when he got to the Port Authority, he found out the ticket to Atlantic City was $39.

Ok, now we’re getting somewhere.

At that point, I understood – he was asking me for money….. money to supposedly get him to his first day of work on time. “I don’t wanna risk losing this job over something so stupid as not being able to get there,” he says. Made sense to me.

Now there were a lot of questions I could have asked, and I woulda been well within my rights to ask them, being that I didn’t know this man from a hole in the wall, but I really didn’t see the point. I mean, quite honestly, I didn’t even hear anything else he said after that, and he talked for another two minutes, easy. There was no way I could determine if he was really telling me the truth or not. The highlighted paper coulda been a fake, along with the poorly done resume it was stapled to. His fast talking coulda had more to do with crack than his being Hispanic and so what he didn’t look like a chef? I mean what does a chef look like anyway? LOL

The bottom line is that I would never know, but the 1% chance that he could have been telling the truth sent me into my wallet for that other 20. Even if he was lying – and I realize the high likelihood of this being the case LOL – he singled me out to ask for help, and like I said on my FB post last night, I was always told that if someone comes directly to you for help, you should help them, because it could be an angel – or even Jesus – testing you. If its within your means to positively affect a situation and you don’t…………… feel me? I mean, I aint rollin in it like I was a few months ago but regardless of what was REALLY going on, that dude clearly needed that $20 more than me. 48 hours later, that 20 would be gone and I wouldn’t even be able to tell you what I did with it. So why not help a brotha out? If I hadn’t, I woulda wondered about that shit all night long, losing sleep about whether or not I did the right thing and Im just now getting shit back right – I don’t need karma fuckin wit me LOL At the end of the day, I still went home with just that $5 in my wallet, but if 20 bucks is the going rate for peace of mind these days, Im peeling off that bill every time.

Short List

So here is my list of things I am committed to doing in NYC by July.

Statue of Liberty
Empire State Building
9/11 Memorial
Nuyorican Cafe
At least one museum
Visit my old neighborhood
Rockefeller Center (to see the tree)
A parade (hopefully Macy's Thanksgiving day but we'll see)
At least one event at Madison Square Garden
The Lion King and/or Wicked

*Note: I reserve the right to amend this list at a later date LOL.

A Wow Moment

Most native New Yorkers have never been to the statue of liberty unless they went in like third grade on a school field trip.

The empire state building is just another skyscraper on 33rd (I think LOL) that lights up in pretty colors at night.

And no one really knows why Staten Island exists except to have spawned Wu-Tang, and now that thats done, kinda wonder why its still there LOL. I guess Mob Wives still needs somewhere to film.

*shrugs*

My point is, I went to Lincoln Center today for the first time. I went to Julliard and sat on the steps and I literally felt music and dancing and theater in my soul. The students walking by with their instruments or ballet slippers thrown over their shoulders really gave me a sense of.... IDK. I could feel their desire and the way they burned for their art. You could almost see this one girl doing 8-counts in her head as she walked across the street. It was kind of amazing, and it actually felt like something I should be checking off my bucket list if I had one. Then it occurred to me that I dont [have one, that is] but I should.

There are too many things I want to do before I die, so my bucket list would look like What Chilli Wants out this muthafucka (ridiculous) but I think I could come up with a manageable few things that I would like to do while Im down here in the city - things tourists do all the time and I just never think to. Especially since there is a possibility I wont still be living here this time next year.

I need a couple of days to think about it, but the empire state building will probably be first since its only a couple blocks over from the building I work in. Lets see if I cant milk some milestones outta this here station. I'll try to have my list together by the weekend.

No. I will HAVE my list together by the weekend. (Im working on that too).

Catchin Up

The rapper known as "The Overweight Lover" (real name Dwight Arrington Myers) died today of currently unknown causes. Investigators say there appeared to be no foul play. A 911 report of an unconscious man on the sidewalk outside his home led emergency vehicles to the scene. Heavy D was transported to an LA hospital where he was pronounced dead at age 44. Damn. Its a sad state of the world when 22 is middle aged, but more and more people are dying younger and younger. This one really hurt my heart.

"Smokin'" Joe Frazier died also. The former heavyweight boxing champ, best known for handing Muhammad Ali his first defeat and later facing him in the infamous "Thrilla in Manila," died of liver cancer at the age of 67.

Now I know many of you were surprised that there was no Conrad Murray blog last night when he was convicted of manslaughter in the death of Michael Jackson. Trust me, I was well aware and planning on it, but I had a paper to write that was due by midnight, so I couldnt spare the time.

Having a day for it to sink in, I have a lot less to say than I would have yesterday. I am glad that he was found guilty, cause his story was the biggest crockest shit I had ever heard in my entire life, but my Michael is still gone, so I find no joy in it. Some solace maybe.... joy, no. Especially since Im hearing that the max he can get in Cali for this conviction is something stupid like 4 years. Of course, his license will likely be revoked as well, but 4 years? Niggas get more than that for back child support... *smh*

I must admit, this tickled me tho....

....after I stopped being mad that somebody tarnished my baby's album cover.

Whatever though. I've forgiven him and given it up to God. I only hope the Jacksons feel some sense of closure when this is all done.

And that is all.

Blessings A-flowing

So my daughter woke me up bright and early yesterday morning. "Mommy, I think you gotta pay the Direct TV bill, the TV's not working."

Great.

I ask her if she can find something else to do for a little while so I could go back to sleep, and although she seemed fine to just grab my laptop and entertain herself, I felt bad. So I rolled over five minutes later and grabbed my cell phone to call in the payment. Thing is, if they had cut the service off, I'd need to pay the full balance (I was a month behind) and I knew I didnt have enough in my account or it, but when the automated system asked if that was what I was doing, I said yes. I had a little more than half of the amount in my account, so I knew the bank would pay it, and the automated system said the payment had gone through fine and the service would be restored.

I rolled over for another five minutes before I started stressing about having just sacrificed my week's well-being and figured I had better call the bank and see how much damage I had done. Fully expecting to hear "your checking account is currently overdrawn by $____" I almost fell outta the bed when the automated voice said I had a few G's in there. I thought I had heard wrong. I needed to see it.

So I stole my laptop back from my baby and pulled up my account online. Sure enough, I had heard right. My school money, which I wasnt expecting until Tuesday or Wednesday had been deposited over night. HALLELUJAH! THANK YA, JESUS!

*happy dance*

It was the first time I felt like I could really breathe in like three months. That being said, its already gone LOL.

I paid my rent and all the other bills I had gotten behind on, ordered the book I needed for class, and when that was done, I rewarded myself for surviving the storm - I took my kids to Red Lobster.

I ordered endless shrimp and ate until I could barely breathe. They got whatever they wanted, including dessert, and the bill was nearly $100, but it was worth it. I was worth it. WE were worth it.

We had such a great time when we left there, walking and laughing and just being a family that just for a while I forgot all about the stress and the worry and the bullshit I had been dealing with. The only thing that mattered was us and it felt great to be reminded of that.

In the process of keeping our heads above water, I cant forget why Im doing this - them.... us. So even though my finances are back to ground zero, I did the right thing with the money I had, so I have peace of mind. A couple years ago, we mighta balled out on 125th street, or I mighta gotten on the road to splurge on a ladies night with my girls... but I've grown since the days of those irrational impulse behaviors and I'd like to think I'm still growing. It'll be greater later, people, you just wait and see...

On another note, I'll be living on celery and sunflower seeds for the next two weeks to make up for them endless shrimp LOL.

R.I.P. Andy Rooney

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/45173371


[excerpt]

"Andy Rooney so dreaded the day he had to end his signature "60 Minutes" commentaries about life's large and small absurdities that he kept going until he was 92 years old.

Even then, he said he wasn't retiring. Writers never retire. But his life after the end of "A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney" was short: He died Friday night, according to CBS, only a month after delivering his 1,097th and final televised commentary.

Rooney had gone to the hospital for an undisclosed surgery, but major complications developed and he never recovered."

Cynical, sarcastic and never holding his tongue - I loved his candor. R.I.P. Andy.

*sigh*

So.... I might actually have pink eye.

The eye I bitched about last night is pretty swollen, despite the ice last night, and both eyes were pretty flaky when I woke up. My insurance doesnt kick in until next month, but Im gonna see if this immediate care place near me will see me and just bill me or something. The flaky shit usually accumulates again over a couple hours time if its pink eye, so I will probably know before I go if thats what it is, or if this sty is just wreaking havoc in my optical life for sport. Either way, Im home for the morning, potentially going in to work later, if the doctor clears me.

Its these NYC subways. It hasnt been cold enough to break out the gloves yet, but I think Im gonna have to keep them with me anyway. I vertigo pretty badly, so its hard for me to go down a flight of stairs without holding on to the rail. I copped me some more hand sanitizer yesterday afternoon but I had already contaminated my eye by then - fuck you, Maybelline and your clumpy ass Falsies Volume Express bullshit! LOL Im going back to Cover Girl.

A Really Dumb Day

My eye is killing me. What I thought was a sty.... well.... it still might be a sty.... but rather than on the rim, where my eyelashes are, its like... on my lid... like UNDER the skin.... so it feels like a pimple.... or a mosquito bite... and it fucken hurts. Whats more, its making my damn eyeball itch.... which is even more torture cause rubbing it to relieve it hurts too. And because Im doing that, I wouldnt be surprised if this shit is swollen in the morning....#FML

Work was stupid. I made 77 calls today - 77!!!! And yielded zero results. Where they do that at? I showed up this morning to find slews of fire trucks and all the building's employees outside - an evacuation due to a fire on the 20-something-th floor. We didnt get back in the building until 10:30 and it was all downhill from there.

I did however get my AMEX in the mail. Its the corporate card - not a personal one - but still.... I never imagined I would live to see the day my name was on a damn American Express. Thank God for small miracles LOL.

While I was standing outside at work with everyone else, I heard somebody call my name. I was like who the hell could be calling me, IDK anybody. I look and its a girl I knew in high school. We reconnected on FB so I knew she had moved to Jersey, but IDK she worked in the city and wouldnt ya know - she works in my damn building! LOL How crazy is that? Small world, I tell ya. Small world.

Oh and my father? You know, the one I wouldnt piss on if his ass was on fire? Yeah him. He's now my friend on FB. #progress

*squint*

So its been a bit of a strange day in general. I feel like I should go outside and stand in the middle of the street. Not so I can get hit by a car or anything, but some aliens in a passing UFO might need directions LOL...

Dont mind me. Carry on.